Immoral Innocence {H.S}

"I don't want to be a speck anymore." 26.

I laid in a ruffled pile of pillows on my bed, Harry looking out of his window towards me while I was doing the same. He was still in his suit, the one that fit him to perfection, but he'd undone a few buttons and loosened his tie, revealing a hint of black ink. His hair was matted and knotty but still looking awfully gorgeous.

That fucking boy.

He grabbed his note pad and a pen and started to scrawl me a note.

That song, it was at that lunch your parents hosted.

I wrote back.

it's beautiful

I know, I want it to play at our wedding.

One day Harold, One day.

He sighed, closing up the curtains with a smile. I laid on my back, staring at the crumbling white paint on the ceiling. A quiet knock on my door disturbed me and I sat up mumbling a small "come in."

My father walked in, tired and drowsy eyed. He took one big stride and sat himself besides me.

"How was your day princess?" My father asked, no eye contact- he was concentrating on the pink sunset threw my window.

"We spent the day at a funeral wake. It was okay. You?" I smiled with effort.

"Well..." My father shrugged. "I've learnt to appreciate everyday I have, weather it goes the way I anticipated or not. I guess my day was fantastic, but others might say it was a disaster." He frowned looking at my hardwood flooring.

"Disaster? What happened?" I asked, less curious and more anxious.

Father turned to face me now, his eyes glistened in the dim light from my lamp- a light gloss coated them. He looked sorry. I didn't know why he would be sorry. I wished he didn't have to be sorry.

He exhaled a needed breath. "This world is big. If you think about it, we are merely a speck in a highly intelligent planet. Every personal change in life seems like it causes a huge impact but really in the history of the world- it means nothing. I don't want to be a speck anymore Louisa, I want to do something worthwhile- something people appreciate. Journalism seems like enough to some people but does that leave a print of me on the world? Do I do the family proud? Do I do England proud? No."

"Papa... Of course you make us proud-" I started.

"No, it's not about that anymore. I'm ready to do something that could make me a hero. I want to be someone who is appreciated not only by their family but by the whole world."

"What are you trying to say?" I asked, my voice shaking in anxiety.

"I spoke to Rueben- he's Lieutenant General-"

"Of the Royal Navy." I whimpered looking out of my window.

My father went to talk but I cut him off, jumping off of my bed to stand over him. "You can't. Y-You-You're not." I begged fumbling for him hand to hold.

"Louisa, I want to. I have this feeling. I'm going to do what others are afraid to." He smiled brightly, still teary eyed. I couldn't speak, I was close to breaking down. He was going to leave me.

"I enlisted as a marine." He said lowly, looking proud but sorry too. Why did he do this. He shouldn't be sorry. Why did he have to be sorry.

A disobedient tear rolled slowly down my cheek, I started at my father blankly. All this, everyday. I wished I had a normal life, back at the other house. Not much drama but just enough to keep me occupied. Every single day something strange would happen. I would sacrifice anything to be fifteen again, to warn my dad not to do this- to change- to stop this fucking war- I would even sacrifice my life... Harry.

"You do this, then you're nothing to me." I spat angrily.

"Louisa..." My father begged.

"No!" I cried, more tears pushing their way out. My chin was dimpled, my lips trembling. "How much do I mean to you?" I yelled.

"The world Louisa, you know that. You're my guardian angel, you're my everything."

I pulled my hand out of his. "No. Obviously not." I whimpered, turning to the door and walking away.

My everything had vanished, my world had been obliterated.