15. Feel like shit

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The more I tried to resist thinking

about him

The more I thought about him

🦋

I feel so lazy

I sighed thinking another day another opportunity they say

But sometimes all I want is to wrap myself in blankets and sleep

Even after sleeping for hours, I don’t feel refreshed my mind is not able to concentrate on the lecture

My mind running like a marathon overthinking all I wanted was to get out of this class  so I can sleep peacefully

my phone tinged I see his message

Morning sweetheart
I ignored his text

My phone chimed again

Did you sleep well last night?
I scoffed if only he could just leave me

But can he leave my mind my thoughts

I didn’t sleep last night he texted again

What did u do than I texted him back

Fantasied about you
how pleasurable it would be to listen to your screams your moans while my face is buried deep in between your legs
Would you be a good girl for me 
Will you beg me for more or will you resist
Either way, I am going to have a taste of you

I groaned he is so crude

Shut up I texted him

Oh, I am not even speaking sweetheart he replied

Ugh I put my phone in my bag

I try not to think about his dirty remarks but oh lord my mind imagining sensual images of him, us, I can feel the warmth in my cheeks

I face palmed myself no I have to concentrate

He always has something to say I wonder what makes him tick

As the lecturer got over, I sighed in relief and packed my books

I thought about a long drive it clears my mind makes me feel calm

As I drove pretty far away from my house

I see a restaurant I feel quite hungry so I decided to eat something

As I entered the restaurant, I see a small artificial  garden waterfall the sound of it reminding me of last night

No don’t go there rose

I can feel the cold breeze and see the greenery a peaceful silence here
Tables placed between the garden

My eyes roam everywhere taking the peaceful surroundings

“It is you I can't believe my eyes Rose it's been so long dear where have you been, “an old man said to me big smile on his face

I was startled I didn’t know what to say
“Um sorry I don’t- "
He patted me on my head
“Don’t tell me you forget this old man”He said caressing my head

Do I know him maybe in the past?

“I am surprised that you didn’t bring your blue-eyed friend with you"

Huh Is he talking about Dante?

“Um you mean Dante”He nodded

“Oh, he is not my friend,” I said

“Oh, I knew it you mean your boyfriend"

He continued “I  still remember the way you use to stare at each other “

Even thinking about it made me cringe
And why would I bring that bastard here
Even the thought of me and Dante together gave me a nauseous feeling my heart paced thinking

Could we have been something more than friends

“I will come some other day to catch up on old times,” I said with a Awkward smile on my face

I see a confused look on his face but I couldn’t help it

Even though he is a stranger there was a familiar feeling

I feel like I know him
Maybe in the past I frequented this restaurant

But right now, I am not ready for listening to whatever he will say when all I feel like is shit and not brave enough for this conversation

I do feel attracted to Dante but  he is so intimidating

Why would I feel like that for him he is so dominating ,dangerous

He infuriates me Or maybe what he makes me feel infuriates me

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