Short Stories

Preston

Preston

(Suicidal)

I managed to get the person I wanted, but what was the point? I had rob, I had a huge future, I had money, what else is there to make me happy?

I always knew about rob and him being heartbroken over a girl who never loved him, or at least never loved him the way I did. I took it upon myself to take rob coming over to my advantage and my actions took over, kissing him. Well, it did get him over the girl, but nowhere thinks he's in love with me. What if he's not?

I couldn't afford to lose rob. I couldn't afford anything anymore. One rude comment on my youtube video and boom, I'm stabbing myself in the heart or chasing pills with vodka.

I don't want to sound needy, but maybe I need rob to live. To actually feel whole again. I really do love rob, but not as much a I love the idea of someone loving me. If rob really does love me, how could he show it so I can believe it? After all, even believe has a lie in it.

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It was early on a Sunday morning. The sun barely was cracked across the sky, illuminating the various colors in a rainbow, when rob left to catch his flight.

He knew about my suicidal thoughts and actions, but he probably didn't know what would happen later. Or maybe he didn't want to think about it, for he was too afraid of being heartbroken, again.

---
I lost myself in my thoughts again. I take my phone out and plug my headphones into the plug. I shove them into my ears and turn my music up loudly.

Twenty one pilots blared in my ears, leading the beat to my head. It still didn't block my mind out.

I was going crazy, my mind was driving me to places I try to escape from. Maybe there isn't any escape, but can't one try?

I take my laptop and log into my youtube channel. I search for my recent video and look at the comments. I take a deep breath, for I had no control.

"You're so stupid, Preston. Why don't you do yourself a favor and kill yourself."

"Oh my gosh, you're so gay."

"Stupid"

"Worthless"

"Your voice is annoying, shut up for once."

It was my last hope. With my mind repeating the awful comments, I rush to the bathroom. I pull up my sleeves, revealing my scars. Fresh and old, they were there, and they aren't going anywhere. I run my hand over them.

My eyes start to water as I cry. I pull my phone out again and text rob.

Rob,
I've always loved you, and I'm sorry it had to end this way.
Love, Preston.

I send it and I open the cabinet door to get my antidepressants. "I'm sorry." I whisper as I pop them into my mouth.

I started to get drowsy real fast. They were quick to work. My eyes started to drift shut when I saw my phone light up. I unlock it to read robs last message to me. "Preston, no. You know I love you and I know you can continue to fight this." Little did he know, I was already gone. It was too late.

Sometimes to survive you've got to kill your mind.
_______
I'm just going to let that settle in for you. Good day, and leave your input please.