Chapter 8: learning the truth

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When Xander turned a year old, I went back to school

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When Xander turned a year old, I went back to school. I was freelancing and active with my photography. I was studying part time, and finally, I graduated, and I couldn't find a job. I also wanted to improve my photography and videography skills. Xander and I agreed to go visit one of the shelters every Saturday morning. Xander was now four years old, and he was such a sweet little boy. Because I didn't have a car, I leased a studio near his school to take him to pre-school every morning and pick him up every day. Alex and Chloe married last year and bought a house. On Saturday, Chloe and Alex were hosting a barbecue, and we were invited. We took a cab to Alex and Chloe's home after visiting the shelter with Xander. We were the only ones there, with the exception of a few is Alex's friends. Since we were always looked down on as orphans, Chloe and I have never been very good at making friends . Due to the inclement weather outside, we chose to stay indoors and watch television. Xander was outside with Alex and his friends. We weren't paying attention to what was on tv or what was being said as we were busy talking about work, but I heard it.

"It has now been confirmed that Bucky Barnes, the zillionaire businessman, is no longer reachable. Sandra Williams, his seven year girlfriend, is now engaged to him. When I saw Bucky's photos on tv, my jaw dropped wide. I wasn't in the mood. About 5 years ago, he was dating someone when he slept with me. So that's why he abandoned me en left me in such a manner. I screamed. I couldn't control myself any longer. It was as though I'd saw a ghost. Then I dawned on me what had occurred. I was just supposed to be a one night stand for him. Why did I make such a big deal out of it? I wiped my tears. I know he's alive, at the very least. If Xander enquired about his father, I would tell him that he is alive but is unable to join us. That's better than telling him I'm not sure whether he's alive or not. After the barbecue, we came home I bathe and put Xander to bed. As soon as I walked inside my room, I started crying. What drove him to do such a thing to me? He had prior experience. He could have pulled out or used a condom at the very least. I appeared to be well throughout the day, but I knew I was drained. He had a girlfriend, therefore he should have been responsible. At the very least, I now accept and acknowledge my unimportance. I'm not going to bother him in any way. His absence has been beneficial to my son and myself in many ways. We've been able to get by without him. He is completely unaware that he is a father. I dropped my son off at school the following day and went to work. Due to the increasing demand for studio photographs, my studio was recently filled.

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❦ PINTEREST: @badglam ❦ TIKTOK: @softnakd

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PINTEREST: @badglam
TIKTOK: @softnakd

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