Keeping up with the Joneses

Part Four

They had been driving for around twelve hours by the time they reached Chicago. They were only halfway to Bobby's and Sara was already beyond done with being in the car. She looked back to where Joey slept with his head on Juno's stomach, and smiled. She turned back to the road, glancing down at the radio that played Led Zeppelin. She rummaged for a moment in her backpack, pulling out a cassette tape she brought just for this occasion. Not that she didn't like Dean's taste in music, she just was growing tired of the same thing over and over.

"Hey--" Dean said as she popped his tape out of the deck and placed hers in.

Dreamboat Annie by Heart began to play, earning a groan from Dean.

"Not this girly crap," he mumbled, but kept his eyes on the road.

"You know, if you actually looked them up and gave them a chance you'd see that they're really good. And hot."

Dean glanced over at her with his eyebrows raised. "What, so you're hot for women now?"

Sara shrugged, "sometimes."

Dean scoffed, looking back at the road. "So what else is there that I don't know about?"

"Oh, tons. You know, I actually think Sammy knows pretty much all of it. Considering he, I don't know, calls me every once and awhile?"

"Oh, give me a break. I already said I'm sorry. I know I screwed up. What, do you want me to write it in stone for you?"

Sara hummed. "Maybe, something like that." Dean banged his head against the back of his seat, giving Sara the side eye. "I'm kidding. I forgive you, I did a long time ago."

"What?"

"You were going through a lot with Sam and your dad, I understand. I just wish you hadn't pushed me away like that." Dean stayed quiet, contemplating her words. "Just promise me you won't do it again."

"Yeah, I won't. I screwed up. It was hard, not having you there, having my back."

She laughed. "Well, what can I say? I'm surprised you even survived without me. I'm surprised you and your brother even have a relationship anymore."

"We... We don't. Not really, anyway."

"What?" It was Sara's turn to be taken aback, her conversations with Sammy giving no reason for her to think they weren't speaking.

"Sam didn't tell you? We haven't talked since he left."

"Not even on birthdays?" Dean shook his head. No, Sam hadn't told her anything. In fact, whenever she asked how he was doing he always seemed to have an answer.

"So really though, what have you been up to?"

"Well, honestly not much has changed all that much since I moved. And you knew me then, I guess I'm just working more?"

"Of course you are."

"I know what you said, but I'm not gonna start running up credit cards under fake names to get by, no offense."

Dean put up his hand. "None taken."

"I know you're wondering, so yeah, I have taken a couple hunts. Only local ones that I knew I could handle. I didn't want to risk... You know." Dean nodded. "I've been in contact with a lot of hunters; they rely on me, kind of like Bobby. It feels good to feel important, I guess. I just feel so out of place not on the field." They fall into a silence then, more awkward than the ones they shared those years ago.

"You know you don't need to take care of everything, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... Ugh, you got Joey into school, then you bought an apartment. You constantly worried about me and Sam while you had your own shit-- you still have your own shit and you're staying up god knows how many nights a week getting information for hunters that don't really appreciate you? How many jobs do you even work? When was the last time you had a day off?"

"I don't want to turn this into an argument."

"I'm not trying to turn it into an argument, I'm just worried for you. Nobody else does, not even you. You opened that door and you looked like hell."

"Wow, thanks."

"No, no. I mean-- you're beautiful. But you just look so tired. You look so worn out. You need to give yourself a break."

"Yeah, like you're one to talk. This kind of drive isn't even anything for you, is it? Twenty one hour drive, no problem for Dean. You can't act like what either of us are doing is healthy, don't try to just put one out on me and say you're worried. You disappeared off the face of the earth at a time where I thought I could do what you did for me when my dad died. You still do everything in your power to avoid the things you're feeling-- why? Because it's girly? Because it hurts? Trust me, Dean, I know it hurts. I went through it. I went through a lot alone, too."

Dean sighed, looking back to Sara for a moment before returning his eyes back to the road. "What can I do?"

"Just talk! Talk to me. I don't care what it is you have to say or if you think it sounds stupid or girly or like a chick-flick moment, just say it! And if you need me to keep my mouth shut about it, I will. Just... Let me be there for you."

Dean took a deep breath before nodding. Satisfied, Sara turned the volume up slightly and looked back to the road.