Part Nineteen

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Sara spent most of the next couple of weeks pretending to be asleep, and crying when no one was around. Bobby told her that her friend Tessa had put out a missing person's report on her, having gone to her apartment and seeing the obvious break in. Seeing Juno dead in the kitchen. If possible, the realization that Juno hadn't made it either pushed her further to the brink. She knew she was falling, and no matter how Sam, Dean, and Bobby tried, they couldn't really help in the way they wanted to.

Healing Sara's ribs was a slow process, Bobby's friend, Danielle, kept a close eye on her through the whole thing. She practically forced food into Sara, telling her that she needed the fuel for her body to heal.

Dean almost never left Sara's side. Pleading with her when she refused to eat, talking her down from her now frequent anxiety attacks. He desperately wanted to help, but he didn't know how.

Sam was one in the same, being there when Dean wasn't. He spoke to her soothingly, listening intently the few times that she spoke. Both brothers were sick with worry for their best friend, neglecting hunts and only fueling themselves so Sara wouldn't have another thing to worry about.

It was the week of Christmas when Sara began to walk around on her own. On Christmas Eve, she quietly walked outside into the frigid New York night and sat on the bench on Danielle's porch.

Dean woke abruptly from his spot on the couch, panicking slightly when he noticed that Sara was missing. He saw her shadow through the window, illuminated by the front porch light. He walked out, quietly closing the door behind him. Sara jumped, much like she did the night her father died when she was seventeen.

"Hey," Dean said, sitting on the bench next to her after throwing a blanket around her shoulders.

"Hey," she said, voice quiet.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Joey," she replied simply, eyes dark. Dean pressed his lips together, shifting so he was a little closer to her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know." Dean allowed silence to fall, knowing that she would speak up if she chose that she wanted to.

It took a long time, probably about twenty minutes of sitting in silence and watching the stars.

"He still believed in Santa, you know."

Dean smiled. "Did he?"

"Yeah," she whispered, tucking her head into the blanket she was wrapped in. "I was going to tell him last year, after he turned twelve, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it."

"Christmas wonder is really special," Dean replied, looking over at Sara.

She stayed quiet for another few moments, her nose becoming red in the cold.

"Dad wasn't really one for Christmas, especially after Mom died. But I wanted JJ to feel the way I did when I was little, before things started going bad."

"Of course you did, he was your little brother."

"Was," Sara repeated, the word seeming to wilt as it left her lips. "He's never gonna get past middle school. Never have a girlfriend, never go to prom..."

"Well, try not to think about what he won't have. He had you; and you did everything to make that boy's life as happy as it could be."

Sara nodded, a tear slipping down her cheek. "I just-- I can't help but ache for the man he would've become."

"Yeah, he would've been a heartbreaker."

Sara gave a half hearted smile. "He was so kind. He was all the good parts of me, with ones completely his own."

Both fell silent at that, watching as clouds shrouded the stars. Just as soon as Sara was about to complain, it began to snow. She stood, a look of wonder in her face. She walked out from under the overhang into the yard, holding out one of her hands.

She looked at Dean with tears spilling down her face, the most genuine smile she displayed in weeks cracking her face.

"It's Joey."

"What?"

"Every year on Christmas Eve, we read Night Before Christmas and then went outside on our balcony and yelled at the sky to bring snow."

Her eyes glistened, thinking back to the nights she and Joey spent together.

"Come on, snow! Come on, snow! Santa, Santa, bring us snow!" The siblings danced around the balcony, chanting and waving their arms about. Their laughter echoed through the night sky, the last thing their quiet town heard before Santa made his way to their homes.

Sara gazed up at the sky, leaning into Dean as he folded his arms over her chest from behind. She tilted her head back, smiling to the heavens.

"Come on, snow... Come on, snow..." She whispered. "Santa, Santa, bring us snow..."  

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