Surviving the truth

4| seceret

I visited with my mom for two full days and left on the third. I found something interesting out about my mother because she finally chose to admit something to me. Ellis Grey, my own mother, was having an affair with my now chief of surgery, Richard Webber, who happened to be married to the person he's still married to today. And it gets better. Turns out she got pregnant. This situation is just like mine, except she knew he was married.

Mom decided to give that baby up for adoption because I was apparently a handful enough. Plus she couldn't bare the thought of actually raising his baby when he said he was going to leave his wife but ended up choosing to stay with her. Till this day, Richard has no idea about the baby or that she was even pregnant in the first place, and she made me promise this would stay between me and her. I promised, though I can't believe she thinks I would open my mouth.

I returned back to work the following day I flew back home. It felt good to be back, and I decided whatever Derek chose, if he made a decision yet to stay with his wife or not, I'm not going to care. I decided I can totally do this all baby thing on my own. My mother actually told me when I have this baby, she'll come fly to Seattle to visit. When does my mom ever willing come visit me?

As I was changing into my light blue scrubs, I noticed a little baby bump developing. I had to be at least three months along by now, which means I'm now out of my first trimester. I quickly pulled my shirt over my head so nobody else would notice my bump. After I was dressed, I met my resident outside the intern lockers with the rest of my group.

We went on rounds, and then she gave us our assignments for the day. I was with Dr. Burke on cardio, which I was thankful for. I also avoided Derek all day, and even Addison. I decided I was going to stay out of both of their martial issues, and when I do have to work with either of them, I'll try to be as professional as possible. After all, I'm the innocent one in all of this, and so is my baby. Derek should have been truthful to me since day one, and now I'm bringing a baby into this screwed up situation.

Dr. Burke asked me to get Dr. Shepherd for a consult for one of our patients. I silently groaned at the thought of seeing him, but I didn't argue because I do need to be work professional with Derek. Derek was in the CT room looking over scans when I knocked on the door.

"Uh, Dr. Shepherd. Are you almost done here? Dr. Burke needs a consult."

Derek turned to me. "You're back. Where did you go? I tried calling; you never picked up."

I ignored him. "Dr. Shepherd. Dr. Burke needs a consult." I repeated. "Almost done?"

"Yes, I'll be there in a minute."

I found Cristina in the lobby of the surgical floor. I needed answers about Derek, and I thought she'd know, since there was no way in hell I was going to ask Derek myself.

"Word has it he's staying with Addison Montcheater-Shepherd."

My heart sank. I guess there was still a little hope left that he would choose me and our baby.

Derek did decide to stay with his cheating wife. Maybe he forgot I'm pregnant. Or maybe he thought I went away to get an abortion. Yet, here I am, still pregnant, and waiting in a room to be seen by an OB. I decided after this appointment, I'll tell my friends about the pregnancy, and hopefully they won't judge me for keeping the baby.

My appointment went well. I'm about twelve weeks pregnant, which means I'm three months pregnant just like I thought. When I heard the heartbeat, I immediately fell in love, but then a image of the baby showed up on the screen, and I couldn't believe I could love something as much as I do with my unborn child. Maybe I'm not dark and twisty like everyone thinks I am after all.

I drove home after my appointment. Izzie and George were already home, and she was in the kitchen making dinner when I entered the house. Thirty minutes later is when she called me and George to the table. I decided this would be the perfect time to admit my pregnancy to them. I handed both George and Izzie a sonogram picture from my appointment.

"Aw, how cute!" Izzie exclaimed.

"Whose baby is this?" George asked.

"Mine."

"Wait what?"

"Is Derek the-?" Izzie didn't finish.

"Yes, but I think he thinks I got an abortion and he's staying with his wife, so I decided I don't need him and his baggage."

"Why would he think you got an abortion?" George asked.

"Because I told him I might get one, and then I went away for a few days after that. I was at my mom's in Boston, and he kept calling me, but I never answered. He left me voicemails, but I never listened to them. I'm done with Derek Shepherd, physically, emotionally, and romantically."

"Do we have to move out?" Izzie asked.

"You don't have to, but if you don't want to live under the same roof as a crying baby, I understand."

"Anything's better than moving back home. You know my mom irons my underwear?" George asked. "Why does my mom thinks she has to iron my underwear? I'm a grown man. I don't need my mom ironing my underwear."

Izzie turned to me. "So when are you due?"

"Mid May."

"Aw, I hope it'll be a girl!" Izzie squealed. "I'll buy her a lot of pink! Oh, and the thought of those cute little bows! I don't think you can tell, but I'm really excited."

I think she's more excited than I am.