That Pretty Fake Smile

|9|-Mistake

Cyrus's POV
Damn! Was I too harsh? He tried to fake it but it did hurt him. That's why I just left before I could say anything else that would hurt him.
I am currently in my office. I can't concentrate on anything. It's so annoying. All I could think of is him. The look in his eyes when he was silently staring at me. No one has ever looked at me like that. So lovingly. He said he is gay. Could it be that he has a crush on me? I blushed at the thought. No, no, it's nothing like that. I am just overthinking. Enough with Zayn's thoughts. Let's think about something else. Umm... weather! It's cold today. It's mid November after all. I don't like winters but Zayn once mentioned that he loves winters.
Ugh! Again Zayn! Let's think about work. I have so much work to do. He must be doing his work also. He looks so good in a suit but yesterday and this morning when I saw him in T-shirt and jeans, ohh god he was looking so so handsome. His T-shirt was sleeveless, showing his biceps and those are the best biceps I have ever seen. I could see it through his tight T-shirt, his chest and abs are also rocking hot. I really want to grab that big hot chest.

Wait a second - why the hell am I fantasizing about his chest?!?!
Ugh!!! It's his fault. Why does he have such a rocking hot body? My bisexual heart can't resist that much of hotness.

I shouldn't find him attractive. I am supposed to hate him. But it's getting so hard everyday. For the last few months, I am having these weird feelings whenever I am with him or I think about him. My parents would never approve of us so what's the point of leading this feeling? It will only hurt me in the end. Love is scary. I don't want to love anyone again. Loving someone or Being loved both sounds so painful. And these feelings. They are so overwhelming. It is scaring me to my core. I feel sick when I remember how I ended up last time when I loved someone.

What's wrong with me? Why am I even thinking about all these. Maybe it's just a sexual tension. I haven't had sex in a long time. The last time I had sex was 4 months ago. I saw Zayn with some beautiful girl and I got angry and did the deed. It was stupid. I know. Maybe I should go to the club tonight. Yeah, good idea.

...

[mature content ahead ⚠]

I went to that gay club, I visited with Zayn. I went straight to the bar and ordered something strong. I want to get my mind off him. It was my third drink when a guy approached me. Why does he look familiar?

"Where is that DILF from last time?" he asked

Wait- he is the same guy from last time. The one Zayn threatened.

"I am alone" I said, gulping down my fourth glass

"Wanna go somewhere quieter and isolated?" he asked, tracing his finger on my face

He is hot. But he is not like Zayn. I want Zayn. I want Zayn Green fucking Carver! But he is off limit.
I should just go with this guy. After all I came here to hook up and forget about Zayn.

"follow me" I said as I got up

I paid the bill and head towards exit. I didn't bother to check if he was following me or not. As I reach my car, I turn towards him.

"In my car or the hotel?" I asked

"Let's go to the hotel" he said

"I can't drive. I had drinks" I said

I don't remember much of it after that. Everything was in a blur 'till we were in the hotel room.

We entered the room. He closed the door behind him and pushed me against the wall. He started licking and sucking on my neck.

"Don't leave any mark" I warned as he bite my neck

He stopped abusing my neck and pressed his lips on mine and started kissing roughly. His lips taste of lip gloss. Eww, Gross!!!!

I pushed him away and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. He gave me an annoyed look and raised an eyebrow at me.

"No kissing. Your lips taste horrible" I said, sticking out my tongue in disgust

"Excuse me?" he said, looking offended

"it's because of your lip gloss" I said as I switched our positions

I press him against wall and start kissing and sucking on his neck. He moaned softly. He put his hand at the back of my neck. His cologne is good but Zayn smells better. He removed my coat and start unbuttoning my shirt. I also removed his shirt and threw it somewhere in the room. His body is more feminine, opposite of Zayn. He moaned loudly as I bite harshly on his neck, drawing some blood. He pushed me away slightly as he crouch down and started unbuttoning my pants. He pulls my pants down, along with my boxer. I closed my eyes as he put my dick in his mouth and started sucking. I moaned and put my hand at the back of his head as I push his head more on my thing.
He is doing his work great but why can't I focus? I wonder what Zayn is doing. We are nothing but still I feel like I am committing some crime. It doesn't feel right. What will Zayn think when he will know what I am doing? I should pull away. Without another thought I pushed the guy away.

"What now?" he asked, looking irritated

"I.... I...." I started crying

(BTW he is drunk)

"H-hey! Why are you crying?" he asked, panicking

I fell on my knees on floor, still crying. I look down on the floor. What was I thinking doing this? How can I cheat on my Zayn? I started crying harder at that thought

I want Zayn.

"I want Zayn" I cried

"First stop crying. Okay? Stop crying" he said

"Zayn... I want Zayn" I cried harder

"Who the fuck is this Zayn?! And stop crying!" he yelled at

"I will tell Zayn that you yelled at me. He will beat your ass" I yelled, still crying with a runny nose

"Stop crying!" he yelled, covering his ears

"Zayn! I want Zayn. Bring me Zayn!" I cried.

***

Drunk men are always cute.

Suggest me some gay depressed wattpad books please. I feel like I have already read all.