in your eyes | winwin

12

I remember the first time she told me about herself

My hands fell to an object in my pocket, the fine metal rough under my fingertips. I could feel each rustic corner of the object, clicking open the fault switch. Minsu eyed my hand, smirking in realisation

"The pocket watch?" He nodded to my pocket. I scoffed, pulling the watch out from my pocket. The gold rims lost its lustre and the glass was scratched and abused, as if it had went through war and back.

"I should've thrown it away ages ago..." I murmured, holding the watch by it's chains. I had held this watch for years, a decade even. Something precious to me always carves itself into my heart.

Minsu chuckled "I have something to give you". His hand reached out, holding a card between his fingers. I glanced at it, barely wanting to look at it. I just wanted to get the hell out of here.

"I don't want anything from you" I hissed, taking a step back.

"You'd find it useful" He always had a way to manipulating people. Shaking my head, I whipped around and strode away, disappearing behind the wall. I didn't want to see him ever again. That bastard. He was lucky I didn't punch him, because god did I want to.

•••

Something nudged my foot. Identifying it as Sooah's cane, I looked at her, exhaling to rid of the tension in my bones. I didn't want her to worry. She already had enough to carry on her back.

"Here" She passed something to me. I took it; it was the card. I shoved it back to her.

"I don't want it"

"He seemed nice"

I scoffed

"I'll leave it on the table" She placed it on the table, sitting beside me. Her hand found it's way to my arm. I could smell her scent: the beautiful scent of the ocean. I could never get enough of it. I had always like the beach when I was younger, but never got to visit often. It was one of my biggest regrets of my childhood: not being able to see the great ocean seas.

"What did you do as a child?" I could tell she was trying to make small talk, but she asked most probably the worst question she could ever think of.

"Train"

"Train?"

"Work my body until it dropped"

"Did you parents want you to be an athlete?"

"I didn't have a dad. My mum was sick" I fiddled with the ancient clock in my hands, clicking the cover open and close, open and close

"Oh" But she didn't sound like she pitied me "Who gave you the watch? It seems dear to you"

I hesitated "Someone I considered my own brother"

"Was it the-"

"I don't want to talk about it" I stood up, running a hand through my hair in an attempt to mute whatever roaring flame that was building inside my stomach.

"When I was young" Sooah began "I always...always carried this little stuffed animal with me" She pointed to the small fish toy hanging by the handle of her cane. It was yellow, with blue stripes down it. It was a bit scruffy, but overall, it was a cute plushie

"I was in therapy for a while after knowing that I won't be able to see much for the rest of my life. My therapist there gave me the plushie and it's stuck with me ever since" She hummed, leaning back on her hands "Whenever I got nervous when going around to a foreign place, I would squeeze it and move forward. It's like a mini Kuri"

It was nice hearing her open her. She opened up quite easily, but I knew she was just trying to ease the atmosphere and tell me that it was OK if I talked to her. I appreciate that, but some my secrets would simply scare her off. They were dark, and horrible. I'm deathly ashamed of them.

"How did you become blind?" I tried to read her expression, but it suddenly turned blank.

"It was..." She seemed to be recalling what happened "I was at a home...with my family. I remember looking in the mirror...I don't remember what I was doing but I remember just looking at myself blankly. Then heard the violent screech followed by the ringing of the fire alarm. I could smell the smoke flying up the stairs towards me. My sister took my hand and dragged me away downstairs. I couldn't see anything. It was just a a blur of bright red and yellow. Everything burned. I tripped over the floorboards and I could hear people yelling. There were some voices I didn't recognise but at the time, I couldn't think. The windows smashed and the next thing I knew, I was bolting outside because I could taste the sweet oxygen outside. But I couldn't see anything. Black, that was the only way I could describe. I swore my eyes were open but I couldn't see the dim street lights that I saw everyday. I also couldn't tell how badly my body was hurt. All I could feel was numbness that washed over my entire body. I was being pulled along by what I assumed was my sister. I lost her touch after a couple minutes, where I just ran, and ran, and ran"

"What happened after?"

"I'm not actually sure. I was terrified at that point nothing seemed to occur to me. I smelt this particular scent though, much like yours. I had no idea where I was going, so I just followed the scent as it grew stronger and stronger. Until I heard a devilish crackling and the faint aroma of...blood, was it? I couldn't tell. My senses weren't as good as they are now"

I furrowed my eyebrows. This story sounded oddly familiar. But I didn't want to make any blind guesses. That would be so wrong.

"Did you know, Sooah" I hummed, scanning her eyes that was tilted towards the lights. That's what I had often realised about her: she was always looking at the lights "Ive always admired you"

"Hm?" I noticed her crack a smile.

"You're so strong...and brave, and ridiculously kind. You've lost what most people take for granted, yet you still somehow empathise and care for those around you. I truly, truly admire you" I sighed, speaking softly and slowly to show just how genuine those words are

"I break sometimes, too" She shrugged "But hey, don't we all? I could be deaf, and mute...or perhaps entirely normal, but I know I'll still have a breaking point. When I was first getting accustomed to darkness, I broke every single day. I screamed and hollered into my pillow, punching and tearing it apart. I cried rivers and often tasted the salty residue of my tears. But we all do that sometimes, I'm sure you have done it too"

I have. Multiple times. I've shattered in my own hole and built my broken pieces back together with my own bare hands. It hurts like hell, and I'll never forget that pain. But that pain lead to something magical, didnt it? Like meeting her, and talking to her about how terrible pain hurts, right here, right now.

"Winwin" Her hand rested on mine "It doesn't matter whether you want to talk to me or not, but just so you know, I'm here. I'll always be here"

In her eyes, I saw the beautiful reflection of myself.