"i'm not scared of you, or the blood you have on your hands, or the fear you hide behind your knuckles. you're quiet, and naive, yet you've seen all the dangerous depths of the world. it makes you dark, disruptive. nevertheless, i cannot be scared o...
I remember the first time she made my heart soften
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"Listen, you know damn well Minsu wants you back into the gang because he knows your potential. The only way he's going to make you go back is to make you lose everything. He knows your weakness, and that's the people around you. He'll destroy everything and anything just to get you back on his side" Taeyong voiced. I was surprised Taeyong was even helping me, or rather, how he even got out without Minsu knowing. Minsu was a scary man. Wicked and distort. Not a soul held sympathy for him. Destruction begins with desire, and hell did a Minsu had a lot of that.
"He's destroyed Yangyang for you, hes murdered your mother and I bet you he's only one step away from ruining Sooah"
I swear my heart stopped.
"So I want you to start something with me. A gang...or just anything to stop Minsu. I'm terrified of what he can do. If we made our own gang together, we can recruit new people and have enough power to challenge him. We're helpless now, and all we can do is wait for him to pull whatever wicked trick that's up his sleeve. Please Winwin, I know we had our problems in the past but this is the only way-"
"What's in it for you though. Why do you want to do this? I want to take my revenge but why you?" I asked, backing away from the offer.
"Because that man deserves to die"
Like that, the conversation diminished. I had left Taeyong with an unfinished answer and returned immediately back to the funeral. I made an oath to myself that I would not be involved in violence, and I know Sooah would not approve of me joining something so dangerous again. I could see the hope in Taeyongs eyes. That he wanted to start something bigger, bolder, something that can conquer Minsu or even achieve more. I knew this wasn't a small temporary project that he wished to pursue, or rather, something off the scale.
But unlike Taeyong, I had built things too precious to me for me to risk losing it.
Just as I returned, I had noticed Sooah's absence. Panicking, I scoured the premise only to find her hand leant against the tree, a bead of blood running from her lips to the ground as she frantically pounded her chest. Concerned, I rushed towards her and held her by the arm in an attempt to soothe whatever was torturing her inside her chest.
"What happened? Is your body..."
"No...no, the doctor said it was just side effects form recovering from a surgery" She quickly cut me off, straightening her back again and holding my hand reassuringly.
"Winwin" She suddenly spoke up "Will you come with me back to my hometown?"
•••
The smell of the steaming buns, stuffed with red bean paste mixed with the aroma of rusting steel. Bicycles rode past us against the muddy dirt and teenagers laughed alongside each other, hand clutched to their bag straps.
"I remember walking down this road and thinking how much I wanted to escape this place. But now that I'm back, I remember all the good memories started from here. I miss being young, and not having to care about anything" She sighed.
"Do you want one?" I pointed at the old man selling the red bean buns. She smiled, nodding as we walked towards there, hand in hand. The old man gave us a beaming smile, his eyes barely visible past the sacking skin, but his smile remained forever youthful. It was like I could see the reflection of his younger self is that one smile. We paid, and he handed us the buns.
Sooah's eyes immediately lit her, taking the warm bun in her fingers and taking a soft bite from it. Anyone could tell nostalgia was flashing before her eyes.
"Do you want to do anything else?" I suggested. Today, Kuri was by her side despite her not needing a guide dog anymore.
"The park" She smiled "Over there" And she pointed at the setting sun. Together, we walked in the direction where the sun was beginning to take a nap.
The park was beautiful, with a stretching ribbon of blue down the front, studded with little diamonds on the surface. The ducks came by too, resting upon their bed of grass, the small ones snuggling up to the bigger ones. The trees wavered gently against the breeze, the auburn leaves falling gently towards us. One fell upon Sooah's hair. Orange against black. Two such different colours, but beautiful.
I held the leaf up towards our eyes, smiling.
"It's a bit like life isn't it." She took the leaf from my hand "When it's youthful, it's green and..bright. Lively. As it grows older, the edges begin to crinkle and the colour begins to fade into an old, warm tone. When the wind blows hard, the leaf begins to lose its grip of the trunk, hanging onto it with all their remaining will. When it can't hold on anymore, it falls, and joins all the other leaves that have fallen. Circle of life, huh?"
She chuckled "When I couldn't see anything, I wondered what it was like to grow up with the world around you and not just in a dark box where you have to draw things in your own imagination to actually...see them." She took the leaf and let the wind take it down to flutter upon the water "Then I met you"
My cheeks flushed a faint pink, our hands swinging by our sides as the rays from the sun highlighted the top of our noses and eyelashes.
"You gave me a hope to keep trying. I never had that, from the moment I lost my eyesight, I never once thought about holding on. Until I met you: something I so desperately wanted to see. I don't know, there was something about you that just made me feel safe and honestly, that's the only thing I could ask for as someone who was blind" She fiddled with her fingers, admiring the scenery in front of her. I had figured she probably visited here often because her incident that caused her to lose her eyesight.
"I remember seeing Kuri the first day I came to university. Hah, funny, I think it was from that day where you seemed like the most beautiful person I've ever met" Naturally, we fell into a light embrace.
"I love you, Winwin" She muttered "More than you can ever envision"
"But I have to go"
Those words struck me like a hammer to the nail.
"What?"
She laughed "Don't look so scared. I know I should have discussed this with you before, but I took up the offer for the exchange program. I'm going to America to study" She pulled out a letter, written in lines and lines of english "Look, I got accepted"
I glanced between her and the paper, scooping her up in another embrace. I felt proud of her. Finally, she was striving for more than just a small goal, but a dream.
