No Longer Euphoria | Nate Jacobs

Part 30

Ignoring every speed limit, my grip on the steering wheel tightens as I think about the secrets Nate shared with Maddy. Why did he ask her to retrieve the gun from the car and not me? Before I knew it, I arrived at Maddy's house. I jump out of the car and walk quickly toward the door. I knock loudly.

Then there she is, standing there. Opens the door to meet me face to face. Her face contorts into disgust. "What are you doing here?" She says. "Why are you talking to Nate, and why did he ask you take the gun from his car" I spit. She closes the door behind her suddenly and looks around to see if anyone heard me. "Are you kidding?? Are you trying to get Nate convicted??" She says.

"Tell me why" I say. "Because he trusts me more than you" she smirks. "Don't fuck with me, why" I say. "I'm not, he doesn't trust you the same way" she grins. "Oh fuck off, he trusts me more than you" I say. "Oh really? Then why didn't he ask you to help?" She says grinning even wider.

Suddenly I feel my arm swing at her face, leaving a bright red mark across her face. She just stares at me, death in her eyes. "You're going to regret that" she seethes. I turn around, and get back into my car slam the door shut and cry. If he trusts her more than me then why is he with me? Maybe he will leave me. In between sobs I begin to wonder why Maddy didn't smack me across the face. She has never been one to back down from a physical fight. Strange, I wonder.

I start the engine and drive to the one person that will help me forget. Rue. As I pull into her driveway, I jump out and knock on the door. To my surprise, she answers. "What's up" she says, semi slurring her words. "Do you have anything I can buy off of you, something strong?". She instantly closes the door behind her and shushes me. "Yes but it'll cost you $60" she says as she pulls out a couple of pills in a baggie. "Fine" I sigh as I pass her $60. "Enjoy" she smiles as she closes the door. I know this cost twice what it should have, and I've probably fuelled her addiction more but whatever.

I get back in my car as stare at the drugs. I hesitate before putting them in my mouth and swallowing them dry. I wash them down with sone water and begin to drive. I begin to feel dizzy, but in a high and relaxing way. Intrusive thoughts of Nate and Maddy only becoming louder. I begin to panic, the thoughts I had before taking the drugs have only heightened not been suppressed. My heart starts racing and I begin to feel more angry than I ever have in my entire life. I begin swerving through traffic, my foot on the pedal not letting off. 100, 120, 200. The speedometer only going up and up.

I begin to smile, finally a rush that feels good. Then all of a sudden, I feel my body lift from my seat. The car spinning in the air. The pit in my stomach tightens as my body summer-salts in the air. I feel weightless, like nothing in the world has ever mattered. My heart skips it's beats, almost slowing time. That's when it hit me.