When I come back to my room roughly an hour after leaving to speak with Peter, it is obvious Edmund is upset.
"Why did it take so long? Did you have to convince him?" He asks, raking his fingers through his hair. Despite the conflicting feelings that fog my brain, there is one comforting constant: Edmund will be jealous.
"No, he thought it was a great idea, actually." I force a smile, walking over to sit next to him on the couch.
"So...why'd it take so long?" He asks tersely, narrowing his eyes at me.
"We were just...talking." I hope he remembers the time he used that same excuse with me, regarding Selene.
He flushes red and turns away from me, lips pressing into a fine line, "Right. Lovely." He definitely remembers.
I smirk in satisfaction, "We leave tomorrow morning, bright an early. Better get to packing."
Instead of responding, he stands up and wipes his hands on the thighs of his pants. He starts to walk toward the door and I call out to him, "Where are you going?"
"Well, first I'm going to invite Selene. You won't mind if she comes camping too, right?" He doesn't give me time to answer, "After that I'm going to find Lucy. I promised her we would go on a walk in the forest today."
No. Not Selene. She'll ruin this.
"Have fun!" I bite back as he walks out the door. He doesn't say anything and slams the door shut behind him as he leaves, returning me to my thoughts.
I feel awful-but-pleasant inside. Using Peter like that is strangely hard for me, and I hate myself for it. But then again, I feel this need to make Edmund feel how I do. I wish my life wasn't so impossible. I wish that everything fit into a clear right and wrong, instead of bleeding into an unclear vision of hard-to-choose decisions. Nothing is right. But also, depending on how you look at things, nothing is wrong.
I feel like there is a hummingbird trapped in my chest, flapping and thumping its wings to the beats of every not-right-not-wrong choice I've made since the wedding.
My hand quivers as I bring a cold teacup to my lips, sipping it and letting my eyes shut. Tea is gross when it's cold like that, but also strangely relaxing as the bitter liquid runs down my throat.
You have it under control, I promise myself.
It don't know if it's true.
-
The next morning we are all out at the stables before sunrise, sheathing weapons and mounting horses. I feel a little better today, the nervous and shameful heartbeat having faded to a more hopeful and adventurous one. Same hummingbird, slower wing beats.
"Do you have it?" Edmund says lowly so only I can hear as we mount our horses. He's talking about the book. I lift up the hem of my shirt, revealing the book tucked safely into its home on my hip. "Good."
"Good morning, Sister." Caspian smiles as his horse trots up behind Edmund and I's
"Morning." I smile back. Our relationship is a slippery slope, so our conversations aren't as often as they once were. It's small exchanges like this that give me hope that our relationship will heal some day.
"It's a brilliant idea you had. We never got to do much camping as children, did we?"
"Not exactly." I laugh as the three of our horses pad out of the stable, following closely behind the other three Pevensies and Selene. We haven't spoken the whole morning.
YOU ARE READING
𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙙 (edmund pevensie x reader)
Fanfiction--- Y/N is the sister of Prince Caspian, who abandoned her at the wake of the war. Upon his return he informs her that to form a better union between Narnians and Telmarines, she must marry King Edmund the Just. Neither of them want this an...
