Wish you Back - [Minsung]

10

[...]

Jisung fiddled with his fingers in front of the recording studio, knowing Chan would be inside, but not sure if he wanted to go in already.

Felix had asked if he wanted the company to tell the leader the player was ready, even after telling him the opposite a few hours back. After letting out another wave of tears and going through the rollercoaster of feeling nothing and feeling everything at a time again, Jisung had refused the company and decided to take a walk down JYPE alone to gain the courage.

He had his notebook secured against his chest and felt like a trainee all over again, the nervousness picking up, like he was waiting to be evaluated on something.

This something was his feelings, something he never demonstrated to anyone.

Every single song he had written until then had been about someone else's feelings. People in his imagination who got their heart broken, that one character in a movie that wanted to jump off a building, the birthday his cousin hated when he was a teenager.

All the struggles, all the love, belonged to someone else.

That was the first time he was going to tell the world a story that was his. That he felt in his heart.

And it was a sad story, to make it all worse.

A story about loss, about fear and destruction. A story about letting go and holding on at the same time. Loving and hating love. Not being able to say it out loud, but afraid of keeping it inside.

He let his head hit the door before his hands went up to knock, but he knew it hadn't been strong enough for Chan to hear inside with the songs that he was playing.

It was enough to catch the attention of the duo that was passing by the hall, though.

"Jisung?", he sighed at Hyunjin's voice, holding the notebook tighter as if it could run away. "Are you okay?"

"Fine.", he cursed his still hoarse voice and refused to turn around. "Just handing something to Chan."

"Wouldn't you need to open the door for that? You look like a drama character having a mental breakdown."

The shortest scoffed a bit, turning to face the blonde, intending to hit him for that or have his small revenge somehow but he got stuck as his eyes landed on the second dancer.

He stood a bit away, a step behind Hyunjin but to his side, like he had purposely stepped away when he noticed Jisung was the one there. His expression was impossible to read as the eyes Jisung loved so much scanned the one that was once his bestfriend.

Jisung felt his heart stop as their eyes met, becoming aware of the mess he was in front of the older's. He hadn't tried to cover the redness under his eyes or the bags, the nest his hair was or the careless outfit he had thrown on. He knew his eyes were barely opening at the light because of how dry they were and the glasses didn't help at all.

"Well, we are late so, good luck.", Hyunjin smiled, pulling the older with him and looking back at Jisung with a smile, pretending to not notice the tension between his two friends.

Jisung took a deep breath and simply opened the door, not wanting to the n that hallway not even for another second.

Chan turned immediately, another man next to him as they talked about a playing track that Jisung had heard sometimes.

"Oh, Ji, what is it?"

"I- am I interrupting something?"

Chan chuckled.

"Just my usual job, I'm used to being interrupted, what do you need?"

Jisung bit his lip, hugging his notebook.

"I'm ready."

"For?"

"For my ballet class, what do you think, you idiot?", he spat, rolling his eyes. "I got the goddam player done."

Chan didn't mind the sarcasm, in fact, he kind of liked it, knowing the younger was at least trying to be himself again.

He didn't seem surprised to hear that he supposedly got it done in just a few hours, nor tried to slow him down when he suggested recording as soon as they could.

And Jisung could not be more grateful for that.

He spent so much time wishing he could go back, turn back time, when the actual problem was the time ahead of them.

So he got into that booth the next day, and shared his story, raw, honest, like he never thought he could.

He felt like he felt when Minho smiled.

He felt like he felt when Minho touched him.

He felt like he felt when Minho kissed him.

He felt and, for the first time, he wish he didn't.

[...]

A bit late today now are we ? :)
Ups