prologue

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Jay sighed as he inhaled the warm spring afternoon breeze. He stared up at the mural of cotton-like white clouds catching the golden glow of the sun against the royal blue sky, with occasional damselflies zipping past his vision. The sunlight warmed his eyelids, gently forcing them shut. This was all Jay ever wanted to do: sit forever in the field of his favourite flowers — dandelions — and never have to worry again about reality. For him, his reality was strict parents, a hectic college life as a law student, and the strong desire to experience true love. It was almost like a disease — he'd lose his mind over wondering whether he'd actually ever find love. In a sense, it was also a gift, as it led him to question his orientation. But, if you really look at it, it's more of a curse. Not knowing if he would ever experience the chemistry all his best friends had, he would cry over movies with blossoming relationships, and lose himself in romance novels, fantasizing in his field of flowers and putting himself in the place of the protagonist.

But it's never fucking enough.

He wanted to feel love with touch, smell, hear, taste and sight. He wanted to caress someone the way they did in all those books and movies. He wanted to smell his lover's familiar scent and find solace in it. He wanted to hear sweet nothings whispered in his ear. He wanted to taste sweet lips on his, and he wanted to see his love and think 'wow, you're really mine'.

You'd wonder why he couldn't just fall in love with one of the hundreds of people at his college, right? Oh, well, this is Park Jongseong we're talking about. He has sky-high standards. Not that he's a spoiled brat, though; he's one of the most nurturing and generous people you'll meet. It's just that he's so used to comfort and having things almost exactly as he wants it, that he finds all the people in his college too 'meh' to crush on, quoting himself. He always found some flaw or the other in someone, making them not ideal to date. Maybe it's the tone in which that boy talks, or the way in which that girl walks. Something about that person's personality that ticks him off, or something that they're likely to do.

Picky people things, I guess.

But it reflected in Jay's headstrong attitude. Whether it was for a project or for love, he never settled for anything less than his expectations, and always worked to get there, to achieve his perfection.

You could say he's a perfectionist.

Someone as perfect as his standards probably didn't even exist. His friends all told him 'that's not how it works, Jay', but how was he to know?

Jay opened his eyes and squinted at the sun before his eyes adjusted to the brightness around him. He reached over to his side and gently plucked off a dandelion flower. He held it up to the sky and watched for a moment, mesmerised at how the flower looked so magical against the bright blue and white mosaic of the sky.

Jay took a deep breath, closed his eyes and said, "I ask for only one thing: true love." his words drowned out in the zephyr around him as he opened his eyes and blew on the little flower. It's seeds floated away like little willow-the-wisps dancing about in the sky and travelling far, far away from the harsh world below.

If only Jay could do that.

He picked himself up and dusted himself off, bits of grass and pollen falling off of his black shorts and loose t-shirt. He walked away, not neglecting his duties as much as he wanted to, to go and finish his assignments.

"To hell with the world," he swore in his mind, licking his dry lips and clicking his neck.

To hell with the world indeed.

To hell with the world indeed

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