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I sat in the middle of my bathroom in silence, tears constant rolling down my swollen cheeks as I stared at the positive pregnancy test falling out of the grey trash bin. Glass shards all over the floor from me breaking the mirror and everything else around me.
'It wasn't mine. The test. It wasn't mine.
I closed my eyes and began to sob all over again, flash backs flooding my head with memories and situations I've never come to terms with. I don't think I ever could. —
"The surgery was a fail, ma'am I'm sorry. There's nothing else we could do" the doctor shrugged and sighed, giving me a sincere look. I was tired. I was tired of hearing 'I'm sorry' or 'we did everything' and 'it's not possible' just made me sick to my stomach. The thought of my bloodline ending at just me made me sick to my stomach. Everything made me sick.
I looked over at Keith, about to cry for the fifth time that week and it was only Wednesday. He held my hand and kissed the top of it before kissing my cheek "we'll find another doctor" he spoke but I just shook my head. "Fuck it. It wasn't meant to be".
Regardless of Me and Keith not trying to conceive at all it still ate me up inside that if I wanted to, I couldn't. I always wanted a family but I guess life had other plans and I guess I'm gonna have to deal with it.
- I held my faces in my hands, sniffling as I started to get a raging headache from the constant crying, the glances I took at the test only making things worse.
'The time I spent on this man? Wasted. Them years don't mean shit to a nigga when he getting pussy. -
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" I screamed out, holding up Keith's phone as it showed the leaked sextape of him and another woman. I had thrown up twice just from hearing the news from my best friend, even hearing the audio of it made my stomach turn and curdle. "Baby, it ain't even like that, just gimme the phone and I'll explain" he tried to talk me down but I refused, gripping the phone in my hand so hard that it started taking multiple screenshots.
"YOU WAS FUCKIN' THIS BITCH IN MY HOUSE? ON MY SHEETS? LOOK AT THIS SHIT!" I raged, pointing at the video as veins popped out of my neck, my ears getting hot from all the embarrassment in the moment. "Y/N just gimme the phone" he spoke, stepping closer to me.
'The phone? Hand him the phone? I was about to open the patio doors and jump off of the fucking ledge because of him sticking his dick in another woman AND recording it, letting the Internet get a hold of it and he's worried about his goddamn phone?
I tilted my head and held the phone out, almost giving it to him before snatching it away, holding it up high and slamming it down on the hardwood floor. He watched his phone shatter, the screen flipping off of it and sliding across the room as the back part laid there, the apple sign barely being recognizable anymore. "Get the fucking phone, have it. I'm done with this bullshit" I stared at him as he continued looking down at his destroyed phone, probably debating my murder in his head.
I slid his ring off of my finger and threw it across the room, feeling defeated.
- I could kill him if I wanted to. I was debating it anyway. 'Nobody would know Y/N' I thought before shaking the thought out of my head, getting up from my spot and walking over to the sink, turning on the water and hesitantly putting my hands under it, watching the water wash away the dried up blood on my hands, the cuts on my skin starting to burn a little.
I looked up at the shattered mirror and sighed. My stomach turning as I tried to come up with a solution to this current problem.
- I smiled at the ultrasound, looking at my baby boy before looking back at Keith. I know he's done stupid shit but I forgave him...for our son. If we being honest I'm not a saint either. Sure, I haven't cheated but I wasn't the best person to him in the beginning of this relationship. I was a bitch, actually. Forgive and forget right?
He bent down and gave me a kiss on my lips, smiling before looking back at the screen "so there's his feet..and then we have his head right about here" the nurse explained before his smile dropped a little, his eyes going from a bright wide lid to a squint, his eyebrows knitting together.
My heart dropped, my worrying starting to kick in. "Is there something wrong?" I asked, getting nervous as I looked up at Keith for reassurance "well...I'll be back, okay?" The man got up in a hurry, walking out of the room without another word.
a few minutes later he arrived with a doctor, both of them immediately checking the ultrasound again. "He good? Right?" Keith asked, starting to get a little worried too "just a second" the doctor spoke, putting her stethoscope on and pressing the cold metal end against my stomach, starting to listen.
I watched a frown grow on her face as she looked up at me, sighing.
Again. It happened again. - I could have been the one having a son. It could've been me. It SHOULD have been me. I looked down at my ripped up clothes and sighed, not having enough energy to cry anymore. I peeled my clothes off, stripping down to only my underwear before walking out of the bathroom, stepping over the bleeding out girl, watching her squirming slow down as blood spilled out of her neck until it stopped, leaving her body still.
"Bitch took forever to die" I mumbled, finally speaking as I looked at her lifeless body before glaring over to the tied up browskin man. "Now what are we gonna do with you now that you saw how she 'disappeared'" I asked myself, tilting my head at the mortified man, his eyes still wide from the incident.
"We could have been perfect, we really could have.." I shook my head, grabbing a knife off of the floor and pointing it at him, shaking my head as I began stepping closer to him, leaving him shaking his head and body vigorously as he screamed into the towel stuffed in his mouth.
