energy ; i. midoriya

curiosity.

you had always known that there were very few ways to get izuku to date you officially. the first way was to threaten people he loved, which was all you could think about as you gathered your stuff before attempting to storm out of his room.
"wait, please?" he pleaded grabbing your arm.

"or what? gonna pin me down with your quirk?" you said feigning freight.

"what? y/n.." he wavered, dropping your arm.

"what do i need to do to make you care? what am i supposed to do? why cant you just fall in love with me?" you ranted while pacing.

"y/n.." izuku called.

"do i need to die? or go missing? get kidnapped?" you cried.

"i am in love with you."  he said with his teeth gritted together. you stopped completely. you stopped breathing, moving, the only thing you felt functioning was your brain, which was incredibly moving at a mile a minute. 

"oh," it came out barely as a whisper. your eyes burned when you looked at him. how embarrassing. you stood with your back to the dorm room door and your hands squeezed into fists at your sides. 

he was looking into you. burning the expression on your face into his mind until he could see it when he closed his eyes, and then he closed them. he sank into his bed. 

"you are all i think about," he breathed, with his eyes still closed and his head laid on his stacked pillows. you could hardly see the face he was making. you didnt respond, you just stared at him with furrowed brows and a small pout. 

"y/n, i cant breathe when i think about you being anywhere other than with me. i miss you all of the time, even though i see you when i close my eyes. i dont know how to show you what you mean to me. i dont know. if i had to choose between you and letting the world burn," he put his hands over his face and paused," it would be the easiest choice i had ever made. it would be you." his hands were now in his hair, running through and pulling out the tangles, with his eyes still closed. 

from there, you could feel a shift in the energy of the room. the love, yearning and desperation changed from something heavy to a low hum. it was a complete shift. something hopeful turned into something dreadful.

you inched closer to him, quietly and slowly, "izuku?". for the first time in 10 minutes he looked at you. he looked so tired and so stressed out. he looked hurt.

"this cant keep happening." he sighed. 

"izuku."

"i cant keep doing this. its not right," he said.

tears started to well up in your eyes. you couldnt tell if you had ruined what you had by wanting more. you didnt realize he couldnt afford more. he couldnt give you all of him.

"come here," he said, adjusting himself to sit up and directing you to sit on his lap. you listened.

"izuku, im sorry. please just forget i said anything, okay?" you rushed out.

"no, im sorry. we cant do this anymore," he paused, "i cant do this anymore." He finished his sentence and went to wipe the tears falling from your eyes. 

"are..what? you said you loved me." 

"too much. more than anything, but i cant. i have no choice," he rushed out, with wide eyes. you realized you were nothing short of a sacrifice. you were not as important as what he was becoming. not important enough.

"no, you dont. not enough." you said standing up and walking toward the door. he didnt fight to keep you there this time. he just watched as your hand came into contact with the knob. he wished he could have gone back in time. he wished he couldve changed his younger mind into being anything other than a hero. 

"i love you," he called. 

you didnt respond, slamming the door on your way out.