𝐷𝑖𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 - Technoblade x Reader

Chapter Seventeen

TECHNO'S POV

I have lost three games of Sky Wars in a row. If that's not a sign of something being wrong, then I'm not sure what will.

Why did she just disappear? It didn't make any sense. We have been talking nearly nonstop for months and suddenly it felt like she just fell off the face of the Earth. I knew she was with Tommy and Tubbo but it just seemed off for her to not say anything at all.

Maybe I'm just too used to talking to her. She's busy, and she has a life outside of this guy that lives across the world from her. That doesn't mean that I wasn't totally spacing out on this game due to the fact that I missed her teasing texts.

She likely didn't feel the way about me that I felt about her. Why would someone as successful and beautiful as (Y/N) like me? God, I feel like an idiot, shouldn't I have expected this all along?

I couldn't bother putting my energy into this game anymore. Not only was I missing her more than I ever expected to, but this was also pushing blow after blow to my self-esteem. It would be better if I just turned the computer off, and resided in my bed.

After turning off my PC, the back of my head hit the rest on my chair and I found myself with my eyes closed. The sigh that was expelled from my body felt like it was straight out of a movie. What was she doing to me?

When I finally opened my eyes and stood up from my chair, Floof looked at me in excitement that I was coming to bed. I felt a weak smile on my lips. I wish I felt as happy as I did when (Y/N) and I were going to bed together.

Yeah, this is pathetic. I just need to climb into bed. I need to get to sleep and wash this feeling off of me. It's hurting me to admit to myself that I let her get to me this much. Romance was much more complicated than people made it sound like.

I slowly trudged my way to my bed and wrapped myself deep in the comforts of my blankets. I tried my very best to tell my brain to shut up and go to sleep, but she wouldn't leave my brain. It was like a blessing, a curse, the way she took my mind over.

Floof must've felt the sadness in my soul because there was soon so much fur in my face that I could hardly breathe. I wrapped my arms around the ball of energy now licking my face before deciding to scroll through Twitter until I couldn't keep my eyes open.

Grabbing my phone, I adjusted my pillows to allow me to sit up a bit. Floof found a new spot to relax and sleep, and I found myself trying very desperately trying to cloud my brain with useless tweets rather than embracing my feelings for (Y/N).

I mean, why did this have to be so complicated? I think I liked her. I mean, I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her in the last few months. I had no idea what she felt for me, but I knew that I couldn't risk the relationship she and I had created. Not yet at least.

That night that she called me while she was writing late, she told me she cared for me. Maybe that was just as a friend, but she fell asleep before she could even hear what I had said back. She was so freaking cute that night. If I had been with her, I'm not sure what I would've-

"What the hell?" I said sitting up in my bed.

Right before my eyes, there was a picture that Tommy had tweeted only an hour ago.

It was something so simple at first. Just a nice picture of the group of them at the shore near Tommy's place. (Y/N) wasn't in the picture, for obvious reason, but it was easy to assume she had been there with them. Tommy and Tubbo were smiling like idiots, and Wilbur had a quiet grin behind them.

The issue lies in the other two people in the picture. Niki had a warm grin as always. She was a nice and comforting person, and someone I considered a friend. The issue that came to surface was Fundy also in the photo.

I knew my jealousy over Fundy was stupid. Just because my feelings for (Y/N) were absolutely off the walls, and Fundy obviously found her attractive, didn't mean that I needed to hate him. That didn't change the fact that it was killing me to know that they were together, and she wasn't talking to me.

Maybe it wasn't connected but it was killing me thinking that she had been talking to me nearly nonstop for months and then disappeared the second that Fundy was around. I didn't think this is how this would go after what happened with Fundy the last time we played games together.

I threw my phone to the end of my bed even more confused than I had been before. Was I fabricating this whole thing? Was the caring side of her I had come to know not real? Maybe I was just a friend to her, or maybe it was another person after the glory of knowing Technoblade.

But that wouldn't make any sense. (Y/N) didn't want to be associated with us publicly, so why would she be friends with me for the fame and glory of it? I had no idea what was going on, but the feeling I felt in my heart wouldn't reside. Maybe it would just be easier to let her go.

I had lived without romance in my life this long. I could survive without a relationship with Wilbur's sister. It would hurt like hell to be away from her, but I could survive. I always did.

Goodbye, (Y/N) Gold.