Monster or Angel - Alec Lightwood

17 - Crashing a Wedding

I open my eyes as sunlight cascades into the room after a sleep without nightmares. It takes me a moment to figure out that I'm in Magnus' apartment. I remember he put me to sleep with magic and I smile thinking that he must have prevented the nightmares. However, my smile fades as everything that happened the day before dawns on me. I make a small noise of embarrassment and I curl myself under the duvet further. I am mortified. Why did I panic like that in front of them? I've been dealing with this for weeks, why is it now that I reach my breaking point? I then realise. I told Alec about my feelings. How do I even face them all again?

A soft knock sounds at the door and I lift my eyes to see Magnus walk in. I groan, but I don't hide away from him. It would be rude seeing as I came unannounced last night and begged for help. He walks into the room and I shuffle over to give him space to sit on the side of the bed.

"Thank you for letting me stay the night," I say, trying to make my morning voice clear enough for him to hear me. He deserves a proper thank you.

"Would you like to talk about what happened?" He asks gently. I sigh, hesitating for a moment, but I soon tell him everything. About my hatred towards Clary, about my anger towards Jace, about the heartbreak Valentine put me through and about Simon's death. Magnus remains silent, taking in every word I'm saying. Tears well up, some slipping down my cheeks as I explain everything, but I let them fall. For some reason, I feel safe being vulnerable and open in front of him. Maybe it's because I've lost the relationship I had with Jace. He used to be the one I would be vulnerable in front. Him and Alec. But I can hardly do that now.

"Peanut, that's a lot for you to go through. I'm surprised you could have been in such spirits yesterday," he says. I sit up and sniff, leaning my back against the headboard.

"That's not everything," I say as I meet his eye. He frowns slightly and I carry on. "I might have accidentally admitted to Alec that I had more than friendly feelings towards him." Magnus' eyes widen and he starts to laugh which makes me scowl. "It's not funny."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he says regaining his breath, "what did he say?"

"He said how he is getting married for his family. He didn't really say more than that and I didn't really stick around to see if he'd think to say anything else," I say. Magnus' brows lift and he shakes his head.

"You two are impossible," he says, amusement clear in his voice. I frown at him.

"What do you mean?"

"He loves you just as you love him." Magnus stands up and moves to the windows, opening the curtains with a flick of his wrist.

"He doesn't. He wouldn't be marrying Lydia if he did. He would have listened to Izzy and not gone through with it," I mumble and Magnus rolls his eyes as he turns back to me.

"Am I the only one who noticed that he didn't let you down easy after your tragic declaration?" I stare at him blankly, and so, with a sigh, he continues. "He's your best friend. He would have said something like, 'Maelys, you're my friend and I love you, just not like that' instead he said why he felt like he had no choice."

"But Izzy was telling him he didn't need to-" I start.

"Why are Shadowhunters so stubborn?" He huffs somewhat under his breath. He moves towards the bed and grabs my arm, yanking me out from under the covers. I try and protest, but he gives me no option to do so as he tugs me into his main sitting room. He finally releases me and I give him the dirties glare I can muster.

"What the hell, Magnus?" I snap.

"You're going to his wedding." I freeze. I can think of thousands of things I'd rather do than go to Alex's wedding and one of those things is spending 24 hours in an enclosed space with Clary.