This is a revised chapter previously published on Wattpad. It is from the published version of The Brat Diaries. Available on Amazon in paperback and ebook, and ebook on Smashwords.
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It's no secret that I love discipline. I love everything about it. The love and care it symbolizes, the power dynamic, that fluttery feeling leading up to a punishment, and the absolution and forgiveness when it's over. And I love what it's done for my marriage.
Discipline comes in all different forms in our dynamic. Some examples include loss of privileges, exercise-based punishments like push-ups or burpees, kneeling on rice, writing lines, and of course, spanking.
But I'm a masochist. So how can a spanking be a punishment?
I get asked this question every now and then. I don't mind, it's a fair question.
First off, being a masochist doesn't mean I enjoy pain in the same way I enjoy orgasms or ice-cream. Physically, my body doesn't actually enjoy pain. It still hurts. But it turns me on. A lot. It flips a sexual switch; one I usually need in order to feel aroused. Pain also has healing properties for me. It untangles my thoughts, soothes anxiety, and forces a type of meditation that my mind craves.
Additionally, pain can release endorphins in distinct parts of the brain. Depending on which part of the brain, it can numb pain (analgesia) or create a state of euphoria. You may hear this state referred to as 'sub space' – a blissful state of mind that is often achieved through pain. Although not all sub space states are pain-induced.
But, back to the question: How can spanking be a punishment?
For Wrex and me, it comes down to three things:
1. Intent
2. Delivery
3. Orgasm
1. Intent
"This isn't going to be fun."
Wrex has given me hard impact sessions just for pleasure before, but the energy in those sessions is completely different than discipline.
If impact is meant as a punishment, there's a mood shift. There's scolding and disappointment. I feel guilty because I know I did something wrong, and I really do want the punishment to help me release that guilt, and spanking can be very cathartic for me when delivered with the right intent.
2. Delivery
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and canes are frightening.
My ideal spankings are over the knee with his hand, heavy floggers, his belt, and our trident paddle is probably my favorite for thuddy impact. I handle thuddy pain very well, my tolerance is quite high and it's hard to break me with it.
Whips, canes, and stingy paddles are punishment implements. These implements can still make an appearance in a funishment if he's feeling a bit sadistic, but the intent there is much different, and it's usually delivered with less force.
A punishment spanking is delivered harder, longer, and without warmup. It pushes my limits and involves stingy pain sensations. Does it still turn me on? Absolutely. I like that I don't like it. It's essentially consensual non-consent. And yeah, it really turns me on, which leads us to...
3. Orgasm
"Good girls get orgasms."
If it's a punishment, it is very unlikely that it will end in an orgasm for me, at least not right away because punishment aftercare comes first.
Wrex's punishments usually have layers and spanking is often just one of them, meant to break me and give me that emotional catharsis. There will usually be another layer unrelated to pain, like writing lines, counting grains of rice, or early bedtime.
This style of discipline won't work in every dynamic, and discipline in general is not meant for every dynamic. But it works for us and it's something that I explicitly asked for and enjoy.
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The Brat Diaries
Romance"Over my knee." She's heard those three little words many times - Letti is a brat and she knows it. Wrex is Letti's strict husband and Dominant, but he not-so-secretly enjoys Letti's misbehavior. Her antics, strategic pokes, and occasional fatal e...
