Expectations (wlw)

Chapter 13

I woke up to someone sounding very much like they were kicking my door. Smoothing my hair, I wrenched it open before it was taken off of its hinges.

Fairul was draped over Christina, and though the shorter girl was struggling to hold my roommate up, she had this smug look on her face.

Fairul walked into the room immediately swayed as she almost fell. Christina and I both stepped to catch her, but she righted herself and waved us both off with a grumble. She smelled like alcohol and sweat.

She pitched her entire body forward into her own bed and stayed there face down, ignoring us.

“Last night was rough. Let her rest,” Christina, an annoying little smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth, said to me. Like I didn’t already know.

She couldn’t find an excuse to stay in the room longer, so she left.

I sat on the edge of my bed, facing Fairul. Her face was obscured by a pillow, so I couldn’t even read her expression.

“You’re going to suffocate.” I didn’t know how to start.

Her breath was deep and even, though I doubt she was actually asleep. Now probably wasn’t a good time.

Kneeling on the floor at the edge of her bed, I put a hand on her shoulder. I leaned down, intending to press a kiss to her temple but thought better of it.

“I’m sorry,” I said instead. Her breath caught. “I’d really like to talk about this later.”

My hand lingered on her shoulder for another moment before I stood and left the room, taking one last look at her prone form.

I found myself walking to the dining hall before I knew it. Having had only half a glass of Emil’s rum for lunch and dinner yesterday, I was weak from hunger.

Paranoid too, I think. Or maybe because it was just that I was eating alone that I thought were staring at me more than usual. It was like the first days all over again. I wish Emil was here.

Suddenly, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Scanning the room, I found Christina watching me from her table. There wasn’t many people, but everyone else was looking at their plate or something. She fixed me with something that would have been a glare if it didn’t look so curious.

It was as if my perception sharpened. The chatter in the room sounded like I was the main topic, which is very unlikely, but her stare was making me uncomfortable. Her expression didn’t change even when I met her eyes. The bite I was taking turned to gravel in my mouth.

I left as soon as I swallowed down an appropriate amount of food and fled back into my room. Fairul was gone.

What was that? Was I missing something? Christina’s not exactly nice to me, but she’s always been coy about it. What happened earlier felt almost hostile.

My mind was a mess, and I didn’t want to be alone with no distraction. It wasn’t the best idea, but I didn’t want to think about Fairul, so after taking a cold shower I went to look for someone.

I had no idea if he was here, and I didn’t know where his room even was. I definitely wasn’t going to knock door to door.

“Which Nathan, love?” The girl who I’m pretty sure was in the year below me took a puff of her cigarette and blew the smoke just slightly off in my direction. I held my breath. “There’s plenty Nathaniels here.”

She was annoyed when I found her smoking in the grove, but when I assured her I wouldn’t snitch, she was open to conversation.

“Tall. Green eyes. Student council Nathan.” She hummed, almost appreciatively.