𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐬 ¹

|𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓽𝔂 𝓢𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷 | 𝓘 𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓦𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓨𝓸𝓾|

Chapter Forty Seven - I Still Want You

I used to believe, that everything happens for a reason,

But I just can't find a reason you'd want to hurt me so bad,

Can't get no relief, time moves on with the seasons,

But I still can't find a reason you'd want to hurt me so bad,

And what in the world did I do to deserve such a pain in my heart,

Guess it's true, I'm never getting over you,

I still love you,

I still want you,

I still love you,

- Madison Beer, "Everything Happens For A Reason,"

•••

The weeks following Mike and Veronica's fight weren't exactly the easiest for anyone involved, on one hand there was Mike, sure he'd been the one to end things but it didn't make it any easier on him, he absolutely despised himself for having hurt Veronica in the way he did, to say he'd let himself go would be an immense understatement, sobriety wasn't on his radar and he couldn't recount the last time he'd even seen the daylight, when he left his room for anything other than attending to his little sister, it was only to fuel his terrible habits, he'd spent endless nights at random night clubs, picking up girl after girl in order to forget though before they could get further than a decently steamy make out session and removing his shirt he'd put a stop to it, because he soon came to realize the obvious, they weren't Veronica, they'd never come close to her, and while the pain he'd endured over the course of the last couple of days, hell couple of years, did turn him into a bit of a prick he still had morals, enough to recognize using these women in order to fill the empty space she'd left with her departure was extremely unlike him, he didn't really socialize with anyone close to him anymore, other than his sisters, Toni was notably pissed off, but it wasn't as if she blamed him, of course she didn't blame him, how could she after she read that letter? She'd cried right alongside her twin, she didn't expect for her mother's permanent departure to hurt, in fact , when she thought about her mother being gone in the past she'd seen it as a blessing of sorts, in letting that part of her life go she found that she no longer had anything to prove to anyone, she found that she'd come to peace with it all, but that still didn't stop her from feeling as if a piece of her had died as she realized her mother had completely given up on them, what she hated most was that she came back in the first place, that she gave Mike hope, hope that they'd be a family, the family he'd always wanted them to be, she wished he was more like her, that he didn't seek the validation of a woman who didn't intend of righting her past wrongs, a woman who came into his life seeking to take the small ounce of happiness he'd managed to obtain after years of sadness from him, a woman who couldn't commit to anything, not even her own offspring. Maybe that was the reason Mike was the way he was, he strived to be the complete opposite of his mother, Toni knew this, he was reliable, loving, strong, and loyal, but even then, he still loved her, he still held no resentment towards the woman who'd essentially ruined his life, the one who had forced him to become and adult at the young age of twelve cause even when she was around she wasn't, drugs and alcohol had become her entire personality, it was as if her life had been permanently stopped at the age of seventeen, the age she believed she lost it all when, she'd found out she was expecting, it was baffling that the same reckless behavior that landed her in the very position she regretted, was that which she craved the most, despite what Toni would say, Mike did learn many things about life from his mother, most of them occurred between the ages of eleven and fourteen, not all of them appropriate, but all of them useful, at the age of eleven he learned how to change diapers, how to prepare baby bottles, how to sterilize pacifiers, how to work the washing machine how to fold clothing, how to lull a newborn to sleep, all while his mother became an addict, at twelve he learned how to prepare food, sure all he could do was fry an egg and toast bread but with that he managed to keep himself and his sister fed while their mother was out looking for her newest conquest, at thirteen he learned how to drive a car, he was unusually tall for a guy his age but it would come to be an advantage, he'd steal his mother's car, in order to get himself and Toni to school, then to his first ever job bussing tables at the local mexican restaurant, that was until his mother caught him, she was furious he'd gone behind her back in order to get a little extra change to treat his sisters to things, that was the first time she laid a hand on any of them, and the last, in her inherited state she'd lost control and unleashed a level of rage on the young boy that was beyond brutal, she'd beat him so badly, he'd ended up in the hospital, he didn't have a single recollection of the incident, and Toni swore never to speak a word of it, she knew that this would've been the perfect bombshell to drop in order to get him to distance himself from Natalia but she knew in doing so she'd tear him apart, and as much as she wanted the woman gone she needed her brother sane more than anything, so when he'd asked how he got the small scar on the back of his head, she'd apologize for tripping him and making him land one of Rosie's toys, by fourteen Michael was more of an adult than his mother was, still he attempted to keep his innocence as long as he could but it wasn't as if there was much of it left, as in between those valuable life lessons in caring for Toni and Rosie, he too learned how to care for his mother, she taught him how to roll joints, how to prepare mixed drinks, how to crush up pills, he'd even become an expert in those small home remedies for hangovers, all to keep his mother happy, ages eleven through fourteen were blurry for Mike, but not for Toni, she remembered every single crude thing her brother had done in order to appease their mother, she hated that even after all of those things he still loved her, she knew his love for their mother would be the end of him, she just didn't expect it to be this bad, she'd let him grieve his failed relationship as he pleased, but in her heart she knew it was wrong, last time she'd done this he'd ended in prison, so one week after the ordeal, after she'd done everything in her power to get him on the right track on her own, even destroying her own relationship as she was so hellbent on helping him that she'd inadvertently neglected Cheryl causing the redhead to put a pause to the relationship, Toni knew she couldn't do it on her own so she did the only thing she could think to do, even if she knew it was a bad idea, she called Caleb,