In Your Eyes // Technoblade x Reader

XXVIII

How to Forgive

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Easier than it should be.

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Tommy and Tubbo were carefully being taken care of by y/n in the boys' room. Sadly, after the fight, Tommy had been severely injured. Bruises ran throughout his body, his nose was running with blood, a few teeth were gone, and the area around his eye was darkening.

"Is Tommy gonna be okay?" Tubbo asked from the bed beside Tommy's.

"Don't worry Tubbo. No weapons were involved and the fight was stopped before things could escalate. After a few bandages and healing potions, he'll be up and at it in no time," Y/n promised.

"Thank goodness," Tubbo let out a breath. "I'm glad you're here, y/n"

"I've always been," y/n smiled and got up. "How are you doing? Anything bothering you?"

"The burn scars are kinda uncomfortable and... itchy," Tubbo scratched them a bit.

Y/n let out a small laugh, trying her best to lighten the situation. "Don't itch them too much. After they heal a bit more, you'll get used to them. For now, I'll apply some anti-itch cream to help out with that."

Y/n started to look through the chests and her inventory for the item. The room was quiet and a bit uncomfortable.

So far, y/n failed to protect both of them. Tubbo and Tommy both were severely injured in one evening, and she was there to watch it all take place. The pain they felt from her incapability flowed through her body and mind. It was a never-ending pool of darkness. If only she was faster. If only she spoke up. If only she were good enough...

"You know, it's not your fault," Tubbo's voice bombed through the room.

Y/n let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in. Her eyes began to well and she could feel the dread trying to escape her body. But she wouldn't let them, y/n wanted to feel the pain. She wanted to remember it all, so she would never let something like this happen again. After her eyes cleared, she grabbed the cream and went over to apply it to Tubbo's scars.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do anything about the scars."

"It'll be fine. Like you said I'll get used to them eventually," Tubbo reached up to touch the scar on his face. It was rather large and still a bit red. To say he would get used to them never sat right in y/n's mind. A childlike Tubbo should have never felt like this ever.

A knock was heard from the door, but before anyone could answer Techno walked in.

"Y/n I was wondering—" Techno began but was cut short when a pair of scissors flew by his face.

Across from him was an enraged Y/n. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she had a deep frown on.

"What was that for?" Techno squailed. A new feeling replaced his guilt for only a moment, frustration.

"This room is only for patients at the moment. If you want to sleep just sleep in my room," y/n said with her arms crossed.

"I wasn't even here for that. And don't dodge my question!"

"Then what is it? As you can see I'm already preoccupied thanks to you."

"Don't act like this is my fault! The kid challenged me knowing full well he'd lose and I was peer pressured okay?"

"I don't have time for this Techno! Just tell me what you need."

"I- you know what? Forget it."

"No, you've already wasted enough time. Just spit it out already!"

"I can deal with it myself," Techno huffed.

"Um..." A soft voice spoke up from behind Techno. "If it makes you feel better, I can look after these two while you help Techno out?" Niki asked.

"I couldn't ask you to do that Niki," Y/n said while approaching the woman and holding her hands in hers.

"No really! It's okay. You two clearly need to clear some things up. I'll be happy to help."

"Thank you," Y/n gave Niki a hug. "Come on, we can head to my room. I have supplies there too. I don't want you to make Tubbo feel more uncomfortable than he already is."

Techno looked down a bit but complied. He walked past the others in the ravine a few feet behind Y/n. As soon as they made it in, he closed the door and sat on her bed.

"So, what is it?"

"I think I have cuts and bruises on my back. Could you help me with them? I can't really see or reach them." Techno asked, turning around and lifting his shirt off.

"Sure," Y/n sighed. She grabbed a few supplies and started to help Techno out.

"I didn't actually want to hurt them," he began.

"Can we not right now? I'm pretty stressed Techno."

"Can I at least explain myself? I—" He took a deep breath and debated it in his head quickly. "I don't want this to, you know... go away."

Y/n's eyes widened and she stopped her work. She sighed again, "Alright, just don't expect me to forgive you immediately."

"Yeah..." Techno cleared his throat and gave what he wanted to say some thought. "During the festival, at that moment all I could hear were Schlatt and Quackity's voices. Everyone else seemed to be tuned out. Then that's when I heard them. The voices."

"Voices?" Y/n was taken aback by Techno's sudden confession.

"In my mind, it's like a constant battle. There are voices that whisper and scream at me. They tell me what to do, what to say, how to act... Sometimes they influence me so much I could kill and keep killing people."

"So during the festival..."

"Being in front of so many people and the encouragement from those on stage, gave them an opportunity to 'influence' me. It still doesn't excuse the fact I almost killed Tubbo and it wasn't even the voice's fault that I accepted that fight with Tommy. I still deserve your anger."

Y/n took Techno's shirt and draped it over his shoulders. She let out a heavy breath and leaned her head on his back.

"I was never mad," She confessed.

This time it was Techno's turn to be surprised. His chest felt lighter. It was like a small glimmer of hope had presented itself to him.

"I wanted to be. Every inch of me wanted to explode on you and tell you off. But I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to get mad at you or blame you for it all." Y/n eyes welled up. "It felt like betrayal but when it came from you, I couldn't get mad or feel the need to kick you out. I was just sad, you know? This unbearable sorrow just ate at me when I passed you and ran to Tubbo. It was so hard to look at you without feeling like crying." She kept wiping up tears that managed to fall.

Techno turned back to look at y/n. She was breaking down in front of him. Without thinking Techno pulled her into his chest while y/n wailed and cried. The stress had gotten to her. The emotions she was holding so deeply onto were flowing out of her. Techno rubbed circles around her back and didn't say a word. He sat there, y/n in his lap, holding onto that precious moment together for the very last time. 

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1212 words

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