Chapter Nineteen

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CHAPTER NINETEEN
INDIGO


I can't remember the last time I went out on a real date - let alone a date on Valentine's Day. It's kind of surreal. Greer always said that dates were a waste of money, when I could cook and he had Netflix. But now, now I'm going on a real date. And I can't decide if I'm over the moon ecstatic, or dreading it beyond measure. There's a feeling in my tummy, and I can't tell if it's butterflies, or rocks.

It's a weird feeling, getting myself all done up for a date. I've never really gone on a date with someone I wasn't already romantically involved in. Like this date could, on a very dramatic scale, change my entire life, in one way or another. Though I seriously doubt it, Henry Quincy could potentially be my future husband, and that idea is just weird. Like I've never kissed this man, never even touched his hand, and yet, I could one day share his surname.

My toes are non-stop tapping against the floor as I sit at my vanity. Though my room lights are off, I have my mirror lights on, which casts an odd sort of glow across the entirety of my space. Long shadows make my stuffed animals look like eerie monsters, instead of the fluffy, lovable animals they are.

My nerves are through the roof right now. Sadie won't be back for another twenty minutes still, but Henry had told me he would be here to pick me up at seven pm sharp. It's six now. And all I've managed to do is apply moisturizer and stress myself out near too tears.

I take a deep breath, and try to settle my nerves.

I bend over, and grab my makeup bag. My dress I had picked out is pink, which I think is rather fitting, so I want to keep the make up minimal. Normally I'm a mascara and chapstick kind of girl, but sometimes you gotta do a little more, you know? After I put my bag on my vanity, I grab my phone. I have no notifications. Huh, weird. Normally Kolby would have sent me a text by now. Maybe he's just busy. It is Valentine's Day, after all. And I've rejected him, so if he wants to go out he certainly can. But a part of me - a very big part of me - is hoping he isn't.

I scoff. I can't think like that when I am doing that exact thing. But.

I'm doing this because I need to know. I need to see.

I shake my head, once again forcing myself to calm my nerves, and then I open up my phone, and do one good thing for the several bad things I've done or am doing to ruin everything.

Kolby's name is only the fourth from the top, so I don't even have to scroll to find him. I click on his name, and it opens up to our latest text thread. He was asking me how my day had been. He's so sweet.

INDIGO: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

And then I chuck my phone onto my bed, entirely out of reach - out of sight, out of mind if you will.

I begin getting ready, even going as far as to turn on my old CD player, which, bless my ears, had an old Taylor Swift disc in it already. I feel slightly like I'm a character in a coming-of-age movie, in the montage in the beginning, getting ready and what have you, with no knowledge whatsoever of what awaits them. In fact, I'm so sucked into my movie-character cosplay, that I don't even notice Sadie at the door, phone up, giggling like some escaped con.

I pause my singing immediately.

"Does it look okay?" I ask, pulling my hair away from my head so she can see my makeup in it's full form.

"Yes," she says, then she scrunches her nose, and tilts her head, "I guess so, anyway. I always have Malyia do my makeup for meets. So."

"Does it look like how you look for meets?"

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