𝑌𝑜𝑢 | 𝐽𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑛 𝑆𝑎𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑜

01

When the most people think about London, they probably first think about the Queen, about Buckingham Palace, Big Ben and the red double-decker buses.

But almost no one thinks about the downsides. The shadows of London.

And I live in Brixton with my family one of the most shunned places in London.

"You should get used to this soon, Aayana", my mother said after she sat down at the table next to me.

She cooked dinner wich wasn't really often the case.

"But I don't want to get used to it, mum," I mumbled as I sadly dug into my food.

I was only 11 when I first heard about a boy my brother's age stabbed to death a few streets further.

I had to imagine that it would have been my own brother.

And I was sure that I would not and could not get used to it.

"When is Dad coming home today?", I asked her a while later.

"He said to me that he would be late. He has to work overtime," she answered me as she washed our plates.

My family consists of four people. There is my father, Tayo, who is almost always working to keep this family afloat. Then there is my mother, Emiola, who is actually always at home because no matter how many times she tries, she can't get a job. And then there is my brother Reiss, who was also almost never at home.

Together we lived in a small house in the middle of Brixton.

When my father came home from work at night, I was usually already asleep and then I usually woke up to our parents having a terrible fight.

This went on almost every night until suddenly there were no more fights and I no longer woke up at night.

At first I thought that they finally loved each other again and that they just stopped fighting, but when I stayed up extra late at the weekend to see my father again, I waited all night, but he never came.

During the week I never really saw him because he would come home when I was already asleep and then leave when I was still asleep.

"Mum? What about Dad? Why doesn't he come home anymore?" I asked her sleepily the next morning.

"You know he has to work a lot. He left early again today," she lied to me.

"I know you're lying, Mum. I was awake all night. He never came home," I said.

She smiled kindly at me once, but her eyes did not reflect this joy. There was only sadness and pain.

That was the last time I saw her smile for a very, very long time.

She told me that he left because he got a job. But very far away, in the US.

I broke down and couldn't get out of my room for three days. For me, my dad was always a hero. I was always sure that he would protect me from all the evil that was happening around me.

"Aayana come open the door," I heard Reiss call from the other side of the door.

I had then decided to open it and in front of the door stood Reiss, behind him his best friend Jadon.

"Why are you home already?", I asked him in a low voice.

"Mum called me and said you weren't feeling so well. I was on my way to training with Jadon, but then I wanted to check on you," he said and I nodded understanding.

At that time, my brother was 14 and Jadon was 13. They are both footballers and played for the same club at that time.

They have known each other since they were 5. They met for the first time outside on the street playing football and since then they have been inseparable.