Attention Runner-Up

Chapter 1

Skylar may be done with her story but I still have a lot to say. This whole experience has made me reflective. I tried my best to get over Skylar. I weighed the pros and the cons of the breakup. I stayed away from her and tried to heal. I did.

Honest.

I am happy for her, I am. You know I am glad she is finally happy. What we had is over,

Isn't it?

Just being back at school and having her in nearly all my classes... Seeing her adorable face again I felt a horrible dull ache in me. I want to hold her, and kiss her, and be with her. I want to bask in her warmth and drown in her personality.

I love everything about her.

I love her.

Seeing her all cute and pouty, she and Jade fighting. It's almost too much to bear. When she smiles at me I feel my insides rip in two. Still, I smile back and pretend I am okay. Because that's what you are supposed to do when an ex tries to befriend you.

I want to be her friend; I want to be around her. So that I can always see her cute freckled cheeks turn bright red. See those brilliant blue eyes stare at me in unwavering determination. Hear her voice squeak when she is nervous and watch her stutter her words. I want to watch her subconsciously tuck her red hair behind her ear multiply times a day. I want to see her make the most adorable faces as she gets embarrassed and panics internally. I want to be around her, I want to be her friend... and maybe, I still want to be something more.

"Is everything going to be okay with us?" She asked.

I shrugged.

I wasn't going to start anything If that's what she means. I mean the last thing I want to do is put myself through all of that again. Right? If that were true I wouldn't be trying to make her laugh and flirting with her. It's over between us, it has to be. She's happy with someone else now.

Eventually, I will have to accept that.

Accept that Jade Tate and Skylar Clifton are together and were probably always meant to be together. That I was never supposed to intervein in that natural paring. I have to accept that she loves someone else, that I fell in love with her and now she loves someone else. She always loved someone else...

"I don't want you to force yourself." She sits down in class.

I can't help but sit next to her. Just so I can look at her every day.

"I'm not. I like being around you. It still stings but I'll get over it, besides you are still a good friend to keep around," I tell her the truth.

"Yeah, I feel the same about you," She smiles.

That smile makes my chest ache.

"Just don't skimp me on the group projects," I poke her in the stomach just to get a reaction out of her.

"Hey, okay," she giggles.

Eventually, I will heal. Eventually, her giggles won't make me all tingly inside. Eventually, her smile won't cause me to melt. Eventually, those blue eyes won't hold as much power over me. Eventually, I'll move on...

Right?

I can't help myself, I want to see her smile. I want to hear her laugh. So even though I know I shouldn't, I flirt with her and poke fun for the rest of the class. Just to get a reaction out of her. We even got in trouble a few times because she was making too much of a scene trying to get me to stop trying to tickle her.

For a moment everything feels right, for a moment the world is bright again. For a moment I can forget we are broken up and that she is with Jade now. I can forget the pain in my chest and the sour taste in my mouth. For a moment, just a single moment, Skylar looks at me just like she used to.