Attention Runner-Up

Chapter 41

Warning: The ending of this chapter can be triggering to some readers. Please read with caution. This chapter contains mentions and threats of suicide. When the words get bold that is when you know it is coming.

"So, you and Mackenzie?"

"Yeah... that's not going to be weird is it?" I ask.

"Honestly?" Lexi sips her coffee.

I raise an eyebrow.

"I saw it coming miles away. I kinda figured you two would hook up."

"What!? How? I didn't know until it happened." I say.

"Oh please, I saw the way she made you smile." She rolls her eyes.

"Shut up," I playfully kick her under the table.

She giggles and kicks me back.

"We going to be okay?" I ask after a moment of silence.

She sighs and takes a long drink to stall before looking me in the eyes. There is this bitter-sweet look there. I'm caught off guard by the sting in my heart.

"Yeah, we've made it through worse. Friends till the end, no matter what, remember?" She says.

"I remember." I smile.

She sips her drink until it's empty.

"We never really talked about before, when I tried to kiss you. I'm sorry I did that. I was... hurting." I admit.

"I know. But, I'm glad things worked out for you. I hope you're happy, honest. You two make a cute couple." She forces out.

"You mean it?" I can't hide the pain in my voice.

She gets up and pats my head as she walks out, tossing her drink in the trash.

I stare at her empty chair and swallow down my feelings.

Why? Why does it still hurt? Shouldn't I be over her by now? It's not like she's Aphrodite, my long-lost childhood love. And she's no Kenzie, but... it still hurts. Do I still want her? How? Why? She doesn't want me.

Why does she confuse me?

After that, my day goes by in a blur and I come home and plop on the couch. Only a couple of weeks left of the semester. Then I'll start my internship over the winter break. I just turn on the tv when Kenzie comes in, wearing her work uniform.

"Hey," I call over my shoulder.

"Darleen," she says seriously.

I turn and look at her.

"It's here." She holds up a big envelope.

"Can you elaborate?" I turn the tv off.

"It's here!" she runs over to me and shoves it in my hands.

The Stanford emblem in the corner.

Oh.

"You open it, no I will, no you." she panics.

"Mackenzie, are you serious right now? Haven't you been checking your online portal, they probably gave you an answer last week."

"I know! But I've been too scared to look." She says.

I giggle and rip open the top.

"No! Don't show me," she covers her eyes.

"Mackenzie," I tease as I slip out the large packet of papers.

"No!"

"You idiot, you do realize no's are never in big envelopes right?" I tease.

"What?" she looks.