friends? // dnf

1- the day we met

The 22 year old male looked out of his window, paint cracking at the sides and just about being their. It reminded him of himself. the streets he looked upon were dreary and gusty, he heard a faint yet noticeable snore coming from across the poorly lit hall. there was no telling the time or any sense of it. George slowly realised it was the perfect time to escape from his evil grasp, no matter how hard he tried he was never successful.

But this time things would be different he told himself, shocked yet glad by his sudden confidence.

George clambered out of his window and scurried along the pathways onto the road, hopelessly walking to where? he did not know. He wanted to escape this cruel place he was forced into as a home. He hated London. The apathetic streets around him only ever hearing a car or two pass by almost sending him insane he was completely sure this was what he wanted.

He wanted to feel safe.

He wanted to feel anything. Anything other than this.

He wanted one of those relationships you read about in story's and cry over in awe.

He wanted someone to hold him and tell him it would be alright. He wanted someone to check on him everyday bring him food, flowers and take him out on little cringe yet adorable dates.

He wanted many things, all out of his reach the only chance he would ever have at anything being crushed after his so called father found out about his boyfriend, this happened around 5 years ago now for George fell deeply into love so deep he was trapped under fragile waters his only help being his boyfriend. Lucas. He couldn't help but feel guilt for the cause of Lucas' death yet he is still too hurt to feel any other emotion towards it.

When he lost Lucas to his father's drunk abusive ways his whole world fell apart, he couldn't think straight all he could do was convince himself it was his fault.

Yet deep down he knew it wasn't, he also knew Lucas would want him to more forth and find someone new to spend his days next to.

He felt guilt, he felt selfish, he felt miserable all these feelings together creating so much hurt he didn't even know what to think or say to anyone.

To him it was just him and his thoughts, thinking every second of every hour.

When someone is left alone they think, they think a lot until their head begins to burn. George had a habit of this he was aware that he overthought almost everything like 'what if someone wants me dead down that path' or 'i could get mugged in that store' either way he tried ignoring the booming voice in his head trying it's best to ruin George's everyday life. George felt the voice just craved for his attention the more he got the more he would continue and so george resisted the urge of listening to it and began to ignore it hoping it would leave him alone, just like everyone else around him. It sounded extremely pathetic when put into words but the voice was kind of George's only friend no one else would ever speak to him. He was always the loser in high school or the weird guy at the park, never seeming to fit in.

His thoughts stopped abruptly when he realised the bus he was on had stopped. This startled him.

He gets anxious at the small things like that, which annoys him even more than his thoughts, but he's learnt to ignore it by now.

Deciding to get off at this stop he practically fell off the bus considering he's so short and struggled to pick himself back up and act as if nothing had happened.

Because that's what a normal person would do, pick them self up and continue on.

For George life was never that easy it seemed like a mission set to teach him a lesson. maybe in a past life he was rich and perfect unlike now how he thinks the complete opposite.