Since We Were 18.. (Raekkuno)

Chapter 23: Whats on the 14th?

I gulped back emotions that were yet to spill out, instead of going to class I went to the only place I could think of, the rooftop.
This place was very calming and relaxing for me, everytime I visited the rooftop, whether it's for lunch, after school, before school it always brang me to a calmed state of mind.
-
I pushed open the heavy doors and walked over to the corner of the building. I looked beyond the chain link fence and gazed into the distance. My vision began to grow blurry, and then it cleared up as I felt a tear swim down my face.
Why am I so weak?!
I thought as my hands gripped the fence.
I let out a silent cry, I honestly felt a ashamed of myself. Before this girl came into my life I was ok with being single for my whole life, but she changed everything, she changed my whole perspective in life.
She taught me that instead of seeing the bad in life look for the positive.
I'm just saying that I know I could treat her better than he can, and I think she should just open her eyes and just see me and let me care for her.
Any lady like her deserves a gentleman and that's what I was offering, but I guess it'll always be the same. Girls just aren't into me..

I guess I am just what Mason says I am, a simp. I have no shame in it, but at the same time I also do..
-
I sat down on the concrete and looked up into the bright blue sky, soft clouds soaring in the sky, and even better the sun was as bright as it'll ever be.
I was angry with myself, I let a girl get to my heart. I always said I would just be to myself. I guess I never understood love until I experienced it.
I believe it was love that I went through.
The butterflies came to life when she was around, stuttering increased when she said hi to me, heart was beating faster when she would hug me, I would start sweating when she would tease me.
Love was in the air when we were around each other, where did it go wrong..?

I always had the feeling that she liked me, even just a bit. But I guess I was wrong, now I don't know what to do..
I don't know if I should talk to her, I mean she did block me.
I don't know if I should let her come to me, well I don't even think she would want too anyway.
What am I supposed to do? Just let her slip right out of my arms? It just feels so wrong, was she messing with me the whole time?

_
Thomas sat on the edge of the concrete floor and huffed, his tears had dried up on his face. Oh how miserable he looked..
All he wanted was a friend to care for him, but now he wanted was something more. He didn't know if he should regret of having Rae as a friend, or not because all the wonderful memories they shared together. It looks like he got stooped down to an all time low.
Hours of time have passed which just felt like minutes.
Bell after bell, nothing had changed. It was like he was paralyzed, maybe even trapped in his own body, but that wasn't the case. Like he had said before, the roof was a place for him to calm himself. He pulled his hoodie over his head and his lip trembled.
He tried talking but just whispers escaped his mouth.
He looked at his phone and the time stated 12:39, lunch was about to start.
He was hoping that Rae would go to the roof. It would be his only chance to talk to her
-

The lunch bell rang and I waited. My back was starting to ache from holding the same position for hours straight but I wasn't gonna move.
-
I was still gazing into the distance until I heard the doors open and people talking. I was confused, no one ever came up to the roof.
I peeked behind my shoulder and it was obviously Chase and Rae laughing with each other.
I was speechless, I was going to stand up and say something but I couldn't.
Minutes passed and the conversation they had got quiet. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder, I didn't even bother to turn around.

"Hey man uh, my friend and I wanna sit here, do you mind moving?"

This was my spot ever since freshman year, and now all of a sudden he wants to sit here..
"You ok man?"
I stood up as I avoided eye contact, I flung my back pack over my shoulder. My green scarf was hanging out from my hoodie, but I didn't bother to move it.
"You can still sit here, I just wanted to know if we could-"
I exited the roof before he could finish his sentence. I sighed, I'm so pathetic..