Letters and Love

Chapter Three: Elizabeth

Once I posted the letter, I knew it would be some time before I could expect to receive a response and tried my best to put the whole matter from my mind. That proved to be an impossible task. Had I done the right thing? How long would it be before I had an answer? Would I even get an answer or would my letter be one among hundreds and overlooked?

No one seemed to notice my distracted state. The only one who would have was Mother, and she... Well, she was not at her best.

The week after I sent the letter, Mother had an unpleasant episode, the worst since she had fallen ill. For a few days, I wasn't sure if she would make it or not. Worrying and caring for her fell to me and it took my mind off the advertisement.

Fortunately, Mother recovered, though she was weaker than ever afterwards. She didn't seem to have the energy to put on a day dress, choosing to remain in her nightgown. I was merely glad she was able to sit up on her own.

"Such fuss!" Angelica exclaimed when I reported that Mother had remained sitting up most of the day. "I knew Mother Garrison would come out of it. Doctor Peters is so negative with his warnings and gloomy head shaking. It is a wonder any of his patients get well! The boys will help improve Mother Garrison's mood, I am sure of it."

At least John convinced her that Mother was in no condition for a visit from toddlers.

"You are frowning," Mother said, getting my attention. She coughed, but thankfully it didn't devolve into the body shaking coughs that signaled trouble. It had been just over three weeks since I sent the letter and two since she'd become ill. "What are you thinking about? Did you not enjoy the story of the goat?"

With a shake of my head, I pulled my mind out of the past and melancholy memories. I would have to do better at concealing my feelings. Mother did not need to worry about whether Angelica and I were getting along. It would only make it worse if she felt she had to be the peacemaker between us.

"Oh, I rather pitied the poor Irishman for losing so much money to that creature," I said lightly, referring to the story I'd just read in the Kokomo Tribune. "Seventy dollars lost is a great amount."

"Then what has you so concerned?"

"I wouldn't say I was concerned. I was just thinking that summer is nearly here." I gestured to the open window. It was a mostly true statement since the afternoon had turned humid, as was usual for the area. "It won't be long before we'll have fresh vegetables from the garden."

"Very true," Mother said with a slight smile. "I'm looking forward to it. You should go for a walk and get some fresh air. Just because I am confined to this bed doesn't mean you should also be trapped inside."

"No, I'll be fine," I responded, reaching for the fan. I knew guilt would haunt me if I left her alone. "We still have a page of advertisements to read."

"Elizabeth, I refuse to let you stop your life just because I am sick," Mother said, narrowing her eyes. She turned to cough before she continued, "You are still young and there is a large world out there for you to enjoy."

"I am still living," I protested, concerned about what direction she would take this conversation. "I am happy to help take care of you. There is nothing more important right now. The world will still be there..." My voice trailed away. I still couldn't say the words.

"Dearest girl, I would never want you to think I do not appreciate having you by my side, but you must think of the future," Mother said gently. "You deserve better than to be at Angelica's beck and call for the rest of your life."

But would the alternative be worse? "I am not going to marry Mr. Willis!" I blurted out.

Mother's eyes widened. "What do you mean? Mr. Willis? What does he... Never say your brother is still pushing that man at you!"