Letters and Love

Chapter Seventeen: Elizabeth

I couldn't be sure who told our neighbors, but I suspected Angelica was to blame. After my conversation with my brother, hardly a day passed without someone coming to speak to me. Though they may have begun the conversation with condolences for my loss, they quickly shifted to my plans for the future.

Even the pastor and his wife came to convince me that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. None of them believed me when I said my decision was not a rash one and I eventually stopped trying to argue with them.

With each visit, I would smile and nod as they said I would be a fool to cross the country. When they said I ought to listen to the head of the family, I would say nothing. For each person who pointed out that fraudsters and tricksters preyed on women every day, I would blandly agree.

But I was not swayed by anything they said.

After each visitor took their leave, Angelica would turn to me with an almost hopeful expression. For someone who had been so eager to see me out of the house, she was unusually determined that I be convinced to stay. Did she simply want my help to look after her children? Was she afraid the neighbors would think ill of her because of my actions?

Did she just not like that I was not falling in line with the plans she had made?

"Why are you being so stubborn?" John asked every night at dinner. "So many of your friends are telling you not to do this. These are people who know and care for you, and are in the best position to give you advice. Why won't you listen?"

My response of "Just because someone knows me doesn't make them qualified to direct my life" only annoyed my brother even more. I was almost glad about that.

On second thought, perhaps it was my brother who was behind the whole town knowing my plans. He had taken the news the worst of all my siblings. My other brothers had simply wished me well in their response to my letters. It had taken three weeks of letters back and forth with my sister before she finally said she might do the same if she were the one at home.

It seemed that Molly and her mother were the only ones who supported me. They helped me decide which belongings I ought to take with me. Molly, especially, was determined to learn all she could about the train route I would need to take. That was a help I was grateful for.

Standing against so many people made me wonder if this was how Noah had been feeling. He must have found it hard to have so many of his neighbors against him. Granted, no one had tried to ruin my reputation or accused me of a morally reprehensible act. But maybe it was close?

There were a few restless nights where I worried John would never forgive me. Would he physically try to keep me from leaving? When I confessed my fears to Molly, she assured me that she wouldn't allow that to happen. If more than a day passed without me stepping outside, she would come to ask for me and ensure that I hadn't been locked in my room.

What would John say if he knew what we thought of him? Better if he didn't know we believed him capable of such things!

Angelica attempted to distract me from my packing by sending her children to me. Little hands capable of making such a monumental mess! She would ask how I could even think of abandoning my niece and nephew when they loved me so much. Given that they would be more focused on knocking things over, it was hard to accept that they had even a thought about what I was doing.

When the date of my departure arrived—a cheerful Tuesday morning in September—I knew I was as ready as I could be. A mixture of excitement and nerves kept me from sleeping well the night before, but a cup of coffee revived me. I forced myself to eat breakfast with my brother. It was an uncomfortable meal, given that my stomach felt twisted in knots and John was still in denial.