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14

Semaji // Sunday 1pm

Me and my brother got a call earlier this morning saying my father was in the hospital and was doing bad , I been crying since 6 this morning ,

it was like with juss a couple words my whole world felt like it was falling apart , it was like I was slowly falling apart.

We were all in the car on our way to see my father , they didn't say how long he had , but my sister called me crying and that broke my heart even more .

We walking into the hospital and went to his room and he was hooked to all these wires and I felt a pain in my heart I never felt before

I couldn't take it , it was too much I walked out and sat in the waiting for and mond came and sat next to me .

"Semaji u have to say goodbye , spend time with him" he said putting his hand on my thigh .

"I can't,  I can't see him like this"

"Do it before it's to late and you will regret not saying anything" I nodded and he got up and went to go outside to smoke.

I got up and made my way to my father room. He was awake and looked up at me and I could feel the tears coming down.

"Come here" my father spoke but it wasn't like his normal voice , it was like a whisper , I walked over to him and got a chair and sat next to his bed and he grabbed my hand.

"Its okay baby this time was coming soon" he said softly and squeezed my hand and more tears come down and I closed my eyes.

"It wasn't supposed to come this soon" I shook my head , my step mom stood behind me n put her hand on my shoulder.

"I know baby but I'll always be with you"

"I love you dad more then anything"

"I know baby I love you to"

"I want you to know I did everything for you and ur brother"

"I know dad"

"U will always be my Lil girl, my second born, my light" more tears were coming down.

"Every single one of u made me realize there more to life, I lived my life, I did everything I wanted to do, now it's time for you to live yours, I don't want you sad for long, be happy, live, just enjoy life for me" I got up and kissed his forehead and hugged him the best way I could.

"I love you dad"

"I love you more baby always" I wiped my tears and got up.

I got to the door and looked back at my dad for one last time, knowing this was my last time hearing his voice, seeing him smile, hearing his laugh, having deep talks at night on the porch, I smiled at him and he smiled back and I walked out.

This was so much to deal with, so much heartache, losing somebody u love will always be heartache but losing a parent is something that is different.

ur never the same it's like you lost ur other half, a part of  you, it's like I couldn't get my mind to stop racing, it's like I felt like my whole life was falling apart.

my step mom gave me her keys to her car.

I heard my brother and them calling me but I kept walking and got into the car and took off.

I needed peace, I needed something to shake this feeling off. I never had to deal with this before.

It was like this day wasn't real, it felt like nothing was real, I prayed so many times this was a dream, that I wasn't losing my father, a part of me.

I drove till I got to parking lot and turned off the car, just sitting in the car.

drank the liquor I had in my hand, and then laid down and lettting the tears fall.

My father taught me a man will change for the girl he loves, he changed his whole life for my step mom, he broke out his habits for her, he taught me love.

My dad option always was top #1 he's my other half, he gave me life. And when I was down he picked me up.

I don't think I'll ever be okay.

Half of the bottle was gone and I juss sat there letting everything go.

Why? Why did he have to go? Out of all these people Why the person I love more then anything? Why? I kept questioning, I wanted to scream, hide away, anything just to not feel like this.

I know they would text me when they pulled the plug and I didn't want to see it, I couldn't see it, it was destroying me already, I was already falling.

The next day

I woke up with the sun right in my face, I didn't even want to check my phone or even look at it, I had a big ass headache and I just felt like death, I got myself up but I sat in the seat for an hour or so.

I headed to the gas station for gas and some medicine and snacks.

I pulled up to the gas station and went in the store and got what I needed and payed for gas and left out.

I got back in the car and I didnt want to go back to the hospital but I know I had to.

I started driving to the hospital and finally turned my phone on but it was only on 2% .

I got out and went into the hospital and everything I was so upset abt came back the minute I walked through the doors.

I went to the front desk.

"HI is there any updates on Kevin davis?" I asked the front desk lady.

"And you are?"

"I'm his daughter"

"Umm, okay let me look him up" I nodded.

"He's on the 2nd floor, 288" I nodded and walked to the elevator and headed to his room.

I got to the waiting room and seen my brother and Raymond sitting down.

"Hey" I sat down next to my brother.

"Where the fuck where u Semaji" Raymond Said.

"I had to get out of here" my brother nodded understanding.

"Where ma and the kids" I asked my brother.

"Ma in the room but the kids went back home, it was to much for them, but they got to say they're goodbyes last night" I nodded.

"Did you say goodbye" I asked my brother.

"Yeah" I nodded and I looked around and didn't see milly.

"Where milly?"

"She went to go get us food" I nodded.

Ma walked out the room and she had tears in her eyes and sat next to me.

"Ma" she looked at me and started crying and I wrapped my arms around her.

"Its okay ma"

"They are about to pull the plug come on" she said in a whisper and me, my brother and my step mom got up and walked to his room and the doctors walked in, he looked worse then he did last night.

"Are you guys ready" the doctors asked.

"Its now or never" my step mom said. I could feel tears and my hands started shaking.

And just of a blink of an eye the plug was pulled and my father was gone. I cried and I went up to his bed holding his hand.

"I love you so much" I whispered to him.

"Honey it's okay, your father wouldn't want u to be this destroyed, it's okay to grieve but don't do it for long or else you'll fall harder then every" she wiped my tears and smiled while tears ran down her eyes.

"Thank you for everything" I said hugged her.

"Ur welcome" she whispered.