A Mom in Middle School

The Peanut

After getting cleaned up from my ultrasound, I was taken down the hallway and put into one of the examination rooms. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. An older lady peeked her head in the door.

    "Hi, Roslyn?" she asked.

    "Yeah. That's me," I said.

    "Hi honey. I'm Doctor Andrews. I have a student with me. Do you mind if she comes in and observes?"

    "Sure. I don't care."

    "Great." She opened the door and a college-aged girl walked in. "This is Andrea, my daughter. She's going to follow in her mom's footsteps. I'm so proud of her."

    "Okay, that's enough, Mom," Andrea said.

    Doctor Andrews started flipping through her clipboard. "Oh, I noticed your address. Are you down the street with the Vandersnorts? We live right up the road on Clover Court."

    "She probably rides the bus with Abbie," Andrea said.

    I laughed. "Yeah. I met her this morning. She's really nice. Really helpful, too."

    "That sounds like her," Doctor Andrews said. "Anyway, how are you feeling, my dear? Do you have any symptoms?"

    "I get nauseous if I eat certain things...but that's it. It comes and goes."

"That's normal. Nothing to worry about. You can always try eating ginger candies or drinking ginger ale to help out with that. But are you doing okay? This is a scary thing for someone so young. Have you—"

"I don't want an abortion," I said.

"Okay then. If you're sure that's what you want to do, then that's that," Doctor Andrews said. "Does Janet know?" I looked down at my lap. "She doesn't know, does she?"

"I didn't know how to tell her. Her and Marty are actually nice people and I don't want to leave. I can finally go to a normal school and I literally already made friends. I know that no foster parent wants to be associated with a pregnant teen, let alone one who is as young as me," I said.

"I've known Janet for a while. If you want me to explain this to her, I can," Doctor Andrews said.

"Please."

She nodded and left the room, leaving me alone with Andrea. She was only eighteen, so we talked about school, movies, and music. I was almost distracted enough to forget about what was going on around me. Then the door opened back up. Doctor Andrews walked in.

"She's making a phone call. She'll be back soon," she said.

My whole chest felt tight.

Doctor Andrews had me lay back and continued on with the exam. I was hoping and hoping that Janet would come walking in and give me some kind of comfort. It didn't happen. I finished the entire exam alone and got sent back out into the waiting room, where Janet was sitting alone, wiping her eyes.

I wanted to just open the front door and start running. I didn't know where. Just anyplace but here.

Janet, without a word, walked me over to the counter and helped me set up my next appointment with the secretary. We walked to the car, still without a sound. The tension felt even thicker than before. I couldn't even listen to my iPod to make things better, because my tote bag was on the back seat. It was just Janet and I. No radio. No words. No sound.

"Are...are you sending Josie and I somewhere else?" I asked. Janet didn't respond, but instead, dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. "I'm sorry, Janet. I should've told you. I...I've been really scared. I'm really, really sorry for upsetting you."

"It's okay. I'm okay," she said, sniffling. "I'm upset because you and Josie have been through so much. I'm sorry that you're going through this, too. You're so young. You're so, so young."

"Wait, you're not mad at me?" I asked.

"I'm disappointed that you didn't tell us, but I understand. You barely know us. I get it. I'm just upset for you. That's all," she said. "How come you don't want an abortion."

"Dunno. I just don't. I don't know what I'd do, but I can't abort it. I think my peanut should be with someone who really cares about them, be it me or someone else."

"That's a very brave decision, Ros," Janet said. "I'm proud of you."

I didn't answer. We drove home, and Hazel greeted me at the door. Marty had to work nights again and was watching her.

"Rah Rah! Rah Rah!" she said, running up to me.

"Hay Hay!" I said, bending down and giving her a hug.

I took her into the living room and sat on the couch with her.

"What's that?" she said, pointing to the ultrasound pictures in my hand.

"This right here is a peanut. It's my little peanut. The peanut is a baby," I said. Hazel looked lost. "I'm having a little baby. I have a baby in my belly."

"Oh. Okay," Hazel said.

She wriggled and started to fuss, so I let her off my lap. I'd already told two of the people I'd lived with, and it seemed like it was going well. It really felt like a, "two down, three to go," type of deal. I was starting to feel a little more relieved. A little more "okay" than before. But little did I realize that the difficulties of being pregnant while still in middle school were just beginning.