A Mom in Middle School

Her

 I took a shaky breath as we walked into my OB's office. Today was the day. I'd be finding out if I was having a boy or a girl. Gender reveal parties weren't a thing back then. I would've loved to do one with a pinata or a cake. Or both. I don't know what's being planned for me this time around, but I can't wait.

I sat in the lobby with Janet, listening to music on my little iPod shuffle to pass the time. An older woman was giving me dirty looks on the other side of the room. Even though I was getting used to it at this point, it was still painful. It felt like every time someone looked at me and noticed my pregnant belly, it hurt. No one ever smiled. Everyone was just so nasty about it.

"Roslyn?"

I looked up and saw Brittany standing in the doorway. I got up and stuffed my iPod in my pocket.

"Good luck. I'll be here when you get out," Janet said.

I walked across the room and over to Brittany, who asked me how everything was going.

"Pretty good," I said.

"Are you feeling any movement yet?" she asked.

"It's kind of like, I have a lot of gas, I guess," I said, chuckling.

She brought me into the ultrasound room and had me lay back on the table. I lifted up my American Eagle shirt and she squirted the jelly onto my baby bump. I took a deep breath.

"Are you hoping for either or? A boy or a girl?" Brittany asked.

"I actually never really thought about it, but I kinda want to buy a few things. The adoption agency said I could get a few clothes or gifts to send with their adoptive family."

"Oh," Brittany said, looking embarrassed. "I—"

"It's okay. You didn't know I was giving the baby up for adoption," I said. "How would anyone know that?"

"I think that's a very brave thing to do. We adopted my little sister when I was five. Adoption is a terrific thing," she said, touching the wand to my belly. "Are you ready to see your baby?"

"Uh-huh," I said.

An image appeared on the screen. My tiny little peanut didn't even look like a peanut anymore. They looked like an actual human being. They had moving arms and legs, one of which was in their mouth.

"Sucking on their toes, I see," Brittany said. "Better tell your adoptive family to enroll them in gymnastics!"

"Do you know what it is?" I asked.

"Not yet," Brittany said. She moved the wand around to the other side of my belly. "Okay, I've got it. It looks like...a girl!"

I gasped. "Wow. Just...wow."

"Congrats, Roslyn," Brittany said.

I can't believe it. I'm having a little girl.

I didn't think finding out the baby's sex would change how I felt about my pregnancy, but it felt like my entire world was turned upside-down. This wasn't just a baby anymore. This was my little girl. My baby wasn't a "they" or an "it" anymore. My baby was a "her" and a "she".

"Anatomy-wise, everything looks good," Brittany said.

She printed out lots of pictures for me, which I held close to my chest. This was the last ultrasound I'd have for a while, so Brittany told me she'd see me in a few months.

Next was my exam with Doctor Adrews. She had her daughter with her again, who took the lead in my exam this time. Baby was measuring good, and all my vitals looked great. They told me to see them again next month.

I walked back out in the lobby to check out. Janet looked up from her book and was bouncing her legs with excitement.

"It's a girl! It's a girl!" I said, bouncing up and down.

Janet gave me a hug. "Yay! That's awesome, Ros!"

We got in the car and started driving home. I opened up my Razr phone and started typing out a text to Abbie. It was such a hassle to press a number multiple times to get a certain letter. Oh, how I don't miss those days at all. The text looked a little something like this:

Bby is a girl!! <3 :D

I sat back and looked out the window, then rubbed my baby bump. This was really it. I couldn't wait to see how her life would turn out. Only a few more weeks until I could finally meet her parents.