Hellfire Jones and the Angel Invasion

Chapter 2

PRESIDENT DAMEN PRICE:

You'd think being President of the United States would be an easy job. It's actually really really hard.

Sure, I get to ride around in Air Force One with no flight attendants telling me to take my feet off the seats. I have a private chef who makes me cheeseburgers whenever I want. I have butlers and maids that have to say "Is there anything else I can get you, Mr. President."

But the job's not all it's cracked up to be. Being an actor was way easier and I did my own stunts. The reviews were kinder too. I was staring at my phone reading an article from some woman who thinks she's important because she runs a newspaper or won a Pulitzer or some other nonsense.

Frustration breeds incompetence in government because there are no easy answers to our complex problems. In these instances, the public often turns to the worst common denominator.

In this case, it's Damen Price. His character, Hellfire Jones, saved us from the War Demons, but President Price was woefully inept at confronting real problems. It sure looked good on paper, didn't it? Sworn in just days before his 40th birthday, he was the youngest president in US history offering more than a new Camelot. He offered hope to a once proud land consumed with hopelessness. He had that handsome James Dean swagger but turned out to be a rebel without a cause other than his own.

We're on the brink of a third world war. Scientists warn the new virus strain spreading could dwarf COVID. There's a blight on our crops with food like bananas, avocados and even wheat projected to go extinct in the next five years. Hurricanes Amelia and Cassandra have caused death and destruction on a scale never imagined.

And how does President Price respond? He blames others and tells us he's working on it. Then he blames the press for distracting him from waving his magic little wand.

What's frightening is that he's cast a Svengali spell over a nation that's so starved for easy answers. They'll follow him to hell and beyond. Too bad they don't realize that hell on earth is exactly where he's leading us.

She's just splitting hairs, isn't she? Also, my wand certainly isn't little. I'd be happy to give her proof. So, fine. Make me your villain, bitch. My lawyers will be more than happy to discuss this with you.

Of course there were  too many silly things keeping me from consulting with my legal pit bulls. I'd appointed people to do all the little stuff for me, but those very same people kept bugging me asking me what to do. For instance, when I was headed to the War Room, my press secretary,Gabrielle, kept following me like a sopping wet puppy.

"Sir, what should I tell the press about the pandemic? Also, the agriculture crisis?"

I sighed. Here I was going to talk to generals about blowing people up while she wasted my time with this nonsense.

"Isn't someone else in charge of this?" I asked her. "I'm sure I hired someone for that job. Secretary of Agriculture, right?" I don't understand why I couldn't hire a Boss of Agriculture instead of just a secretary.

"Yes, sir, you did," Gabrielle said as she ran to keep up with me. "Thomas Malone. He says you've been avoiding all his calls."

"Oh yeah. Malone. That geeky bald guy, right?" I asked. "I think I'm going to fire him. Are we done here?"

"Not even close, sir. There's a devastating locust invasion and the crops are..."

"Crops?" I laughed, walking faster. "Why are we worried about crops? This isn't Little House on the Prairie. These days we go to the store to buy steak and Twinkies and whatever else we need. Also, what the hell is a locust?"