CHARLIE:
Hey! It's me. Charlie. The guy who got swallowed by the demon intern. You remember me, right?
In case you were wondering, life has really gone downhill. Lilly's stomach is actually an entire little hellworld, full of tatters and torment. That's exactly how the tagline reads on the Welcome to Lilly's Abominable Abdominal Hellworld sign.
When I arrived, I was yanked into an infernal abyss full of demonic soul suckers. It's a little known fact that when demons suck your soul, they use crazy straws. You wouldn't believe how much that hurts.
After my soul was completely slurped, the rest of me was thrown on a conveyor belt run by disgruntled minimum wage demon workers who rearranged my face into something Picasso might have created had he been doing crack while on a bad acid trip.
I was then thrown through a chute and trampled by a herd of bugaboos. As adorable as bugaboo sounds, they are anything but. Each time one of their hooves smashed into my deformed body, I relived my deepest, darkest fear. At that moment, my darkest fear was being trampled by bugaboos. You can see how this wasn't a pleasant experience.
You look bored, so I won't bother you with my further tales of woe. I'd just like you to know that some sort of barbed wire snake demon thing is now wrapped around my legs and genitals. It has me hanging upside down over a pool of boiling hell piss. Not nearly as fun as it sounds.
I could use just a little help here. It would be great if you could ...Oh, I see you're moving on to the next chapter. Just great. Sure, leave me. I'll be just fine. No problem. Time of my life.
Yes, that was sarcasm.
Hello? Hello? Hello!!!
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Hellfire Jones and the Angel Invasion
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