Hazbins at the House of Mouse

Roasting Some Gods

Hades and Persephone's eyes all widened in horror as they looked down at their daughter then at a red-faced Zeus.

"Bro hold on." Hades quickly grabbed Harmony's shoulders and brought him closer to him. "It's not her fault she's from Hell."

"Sweetie." Persephone said as she bends down to Harmony's height. "We don't talk like that here?"

"Really? Well, maybe I got the wrong guy." Harmony shrugged and looked at the others. "So which one of you is the guy that knocked up his two sisters and lots of mortals without their consent and only claimed one child while ignoring the others and even threw one of them off a mountain?"

All eyes went to Zeus who now looked like he was gonna explode.

Harmony spotted Hephaestus and went over. "You must have been the one they threw away huh, I can tell by the missing leg, by the way. Why the hell would you make weapons for the guy that tried to kill you? Sucking up to daddy isn't gonna change the fact that he thought you were useless at first." Harmony then went up to Athena. "And Goddess of wisdom and reasoning? Yeah right, more like Goddess of blind jealously. I heard what you did to poor Medusa, she was more beautiful than you and you turned her into a monster just because the guy you couldn't seduce raped her. Cursing a rape victim, shame on you."

"I love this kid." Ares chuckled as he fist-bumped her. "Do another one."

Harmony then looked at Aphrodite and scoffed. "There's a difference between love and lust, slut."

Hades quickly pulled her back to him. "Ok ok time out, look I gotta get this kid back home so can we do this trial thing already?"

"Home?" Persephone asked.

"Steph she has a family she's been with for sixteen years, we can't take that away from her. I've seen them, they care about her ok? You're too naive and I'm too busy."

Hermes flew over. "May I make a suggestion? Your kid here can help us solve our problem."

"You seem to have a lot of problems here already." Harmony commented making Hades cover her mouth with his hand.

"Right but as I was saying, I think the perfect trail is this kid can stop the minotaur." Hermes suggested.

Zeus then grinned big. "That's a great idea!"

"Yeah!" Ares agreed. "That bull-headed freak keeps escaping his maze and keeps destroying all our temples."

"Shouldn't we start off with something small?" Hercules asked. "I mean I've gone against the minotaur before."

"I can't allow this!" Persephone shouted. "I've been wanting my daughter back for sixteen years! It's not fair to make her do all this or make me and Hades go through all this."

"You know the rules Persephone, Hercules had to do it."

"Hercules trial was to prove he can be a true hero!" She snapped. "He had time to train! You're just gonna push my little girl into that?! She's even younger than Hercules when he started his trial! Hades and I would like to get to know our child and help her before you make another stupid choice!"

"Stephy! Don't talk to your father that way!" Demeter scolded only for Persephone to slap her in the face.

"SHUT UP! I'm never listening to you again!"

Harmony patiently waited with Hades hand still over her mouth as she watched the Gods start to argue. Some agreed with Persephone that the trial should be held off while others argued it should be right now.

With everyone distracted Harmony made a book appear in her hand and quickly looked up the minotaur. When she finished she made the book disappear and loudly announced.

"I accept the challenge."