Angst
🥁
TW in this. Attempts of suicide. Mentions of blood and self-harm.
I knew Steven had been struggling with drugs. I knew the boys had tried to get him to stop. I knew that they had kicked him out of the band. I knew everything.
I knew he was struggling with his mental health. He'd told me he'd wanted to go. That he didn't want to live anymore.
But this Axl interview did it.
He'd said that Matt was the most solid drummer they'd ever had. But to Steven, he'd called him worthless. It was all the proof Steven needed. It was the last straw.
It pushed him over the edge.
I had been gone for all of maybe fifteen minutes. I went shopping for a few things for dinner, and when I got home, the house was eerily quiet. The TV was off, all of the lights were off, and above all, it was dead silent.
"Steven?"
I called reluctantly.
No response.
I called again, no response.
I made my way through the house and called for him one last time while opening the door to our bathroom.
That's when I saw everything.
The blood.
The blade.
My blonde on the floor lying there.
Motionless.
I ran over to him and checked for a pulse which was thankfully there. I ran out of the bathroom to our phone and called for an ambulance, which was dispatched and said to be here in the next five minutes.
Five minutes.
I had to keep him alive for five minutes.
I left the phone dangling from the wall and ran into the bathroom, grabbing some towels to put on his wounds and stop the bleeding.
I turned him on his back and made him lean against me while I applied pressure to his cuts. He began to stir and fight me and make incoherent noises.
"Stop."
He mumbled as he tried to lift and tear his arms from my hold.
"Shh, Stevie. You'll be okay."
I said as I began to rock him slowly, kissing his hair.
"I don't wanna live. Let me go."
He said, tears falling from his baby blues.
"No, Stevie. You have to live, baby. I need you here. You're not ready. You have so much to live for. You're my ray of sunshine."
I said through tears as they dripped onto his fluffy blonde hair.
"I'm worthless."
"No, Stevie, no baby. You don't understand your worth. You're my baby. Think about everyone who loves you. What would we do without you?"
Before he could respond, we heard sirens, and we both knew he would be okay.
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أنت تقرأ
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