The Day I Felt Alive

5

Hailee

I took a warm bath, it was three in the morning, but my soul felt so happy and alive, I've dated girls before and gone on dates with them, but today it was simple, I haven't felt his alive in a long time. I know to her tonight it was just a hangout and for me to escape my celebrity life.

My heart and soul were telling me otherwise, I have not laughed the way I did with with anyone else, with her it was simple, calm, a beautiful thrill.

My mind raced all morning as I drifted to sleep thinking about her, her smile, her laugh, her sarcasm, just her.

As alarms go, I really hated waking up to that sound every day. I had training with one of the guys at the gym in the set, later I had some line rehearsals, and by ten a.m. I had a meeting with the producer for extra things. It would be an annoying morning.
After my morning was complete I went out to the set to see if I could see Arlene, but she wasn't with the arts team, I headed over to the costume and design she wasn't there either.

"Looking for someone?" I heard her voice behind me, she startled me, "Calm down, its just me." she laughed at me, smiling she was waiting for my answer.

"Well, I... no I was not looking for you... I was looking for..." I saw Manny at the end of the stage, "Manny, yeah Manny," her smile faded, but still smiled at me, with a carefree gesture she looked behind me and then behind her, "He is over there," she pointed at him, "Well, since your not looking for me, I will go back to what I was doing," she half smiled and walked away.

I really wanted to stop her, I felt bad, I was left there staring at her, how would I tell her "Yes I was looking for you, but you make me nervous, and I gay panic, and and now I'm here." I let out a deep sigh.

"Then you should tell her," Manny walked pass me from behind me, I looked at him in question, "You said it out loud."

"Oh,"

"She's pretty, she's witty, smart, bossy," I raised and eyebrow, "Oh yeah, wait till she gets to your costume fitting, she will boss you around." I smiled and looked at her talking to other designers. "You should take a chance, but that's just me. We're always stuck in a perfect world, why do we have to keep our hearts in a perfect box for everyone else?" he looked at her, "I lost someone dear to me, and I could have fought for her, but because I thought we wouldn't make it, here I am. Wishing I had taken the chance."

I looked at him, he got called for a scene and left me to myself and my thoughts. I fixed my blazer jacket and went to look for Arlene, why not? why not take a chance? I love myself right? I should be able to be open about who I am, and who my heart wants.

I lost Arlene, she had gone to the back of the stage, and I tried to follow her but when I opened the doors to the back lot, I couldn't see her anymore.

The day dragged on, I watch Arlene in and out of the stage, bringing costume changes, fixing ripped jeans, adjusting the others for the scenes. She was doing everything, and everyone listened to her. She also came to fix my ripped boot.

"Hey," I said in hopes she would talk to me.

"Hi, I was told your boot needs fixing?" She wasn't her usual self, she looked very stressed.

"Ah yea, this one." I showed her the top part of the boot, she took hold of it inspected and just nodded. "Hey wait?" She turned to look at me, those beautiful light grey ayes, searching for something, "Umm, do I wait here or?"

"Yeah, let me see if I have an extra one, or if I need to fix this one."

"OK." I stayed in my chair, waiting.

I decided to not wait longer, maybe I could find her a lone and ask her on a date, like an actual date  were we both know its a date.

I asked a couple of people to show me to her designated area, and where all the costumes were.

As I approached the door, I heard her voice she was talking to someone.

"Yeah, I'm free this weekend, why?"

"I have this tickets for a concert" another female, I am not sure who's voice is that from production, I peeked in, it was no one who works with us in our area. She continue looking at her, she was fidgeting with her fingers, "And its in Las Vegas, we would have to stay out there since the concert ends late."

"Oh,"

Arlene didn't sound like she like that idea. She was focus on looking in the shoes section.

"Well we don't  have to stay in the hotel we can drive back but it's six hour drive."

"It would be probably four to five hours since there would be no traffic, but Lexi, I told you." I saw her get up from the floor where she was looking for my boot. "We had this clear, we went on dates we didn't work out. I'm sorry."

"We went on two dates, you didn't give us a chance."

I saw Arlene sight, "I... look Lexi, for the age that I have, I can assure you, we would have not worked out."

"You didn't try."

This Lexi girl was very persistent.

"I can tell you, when you go on a first date, or you hang out with someone, if you feel it, you feel it hard. Your heart smiles, your problems don't matter, your world stops," she looked at the boots in her hands, "But at the same time the world goes so fast and time just isn't enough and you need to call this person each and every day, and you want to hang with them right the next day."

"It happened to you with someone already?" Lexis voice didn't sound happy, she sounded sad to her realization that their friendship was not going forward.

I saw Arlen look at Lexi, "Yes, but it probably didn't happen for her." she sighed, "But I am sorry." I saw her grab other things and walked towards the door, I hid behind the door and watched her walk back to the front of the stage.

Would she be talking about yesterday? Us? Me?