The Day I Felt Alive

3

Hailee

I was in the training room waiting for the choreographer to show, I sat on the floor looking up at the big wall mirror. My face was flushed pink, the more I remember her face the more my smile grows. Those cheeks of hers how they got pink when she looked up at me when she saw the back of picture I had left her, those thick parted lips, thick eyebrows raised in confusion. The more I keep thinking about her the more nervous I got, she's different and I've never had this urgent feeling to talk to anyone, or hang out with them, be around them. Just be part of them.

Is this what love feels like? is this how your soul mate calls to you?

I've had my share at love, but it had never been this strong, this needy. I took out my phone and just stare at our picture this morning, she was smiling, eyes squinting from laughing. We had been so close, the smell of her hair, her perfume, her body lotion all was just too much to take in, but the best was her full round lips just inches from mine, if only I had the courage to have pulled her in.

"Alright girls lets get the show on the road!"

I got out of that room dripping sweat, just ready for a nice cold shower, five hours of trying to get the scenes right, the wordings, the movement with the cameras, the extras. I was cleaning my face when I saw Arlene walking at the far end of the theater. What could she be doing here so late is almost midnight.

"Arlene!" I called after her and ran to her.

She turned back to wait for me, "Hey, how was rehearsal?"

"It kicked my ass, I'm ready for wine and a nice cold bath," we walked together to the employee parking lot, "What are you doing here so late?"

"I just finished a set you will be filming in tomorrow," she showed me her tainted hands.

"Well thank you, I will see you tomorrow then?"

"It's my day off tomorrow." her face looked tired, "and I really really need it, that's why I needed to finish today."

"Oh ok, well then I will see you Thursday."

"Yes, have a good night."

"Night." I waited for her to get in her car, she had a nice white Camaro and I walked to mine. A rental of course, mine was at my house in New York.

I laid in bed thinking of what I was doing, her question had been stuck in my thoughts, "Are you happy with yourself?"

Was I happy with myself?

I love the life I live, my singing career, acting, is that what she was talking about?

If I were to come out publicly that I am not interested in men and I have my eyes set on someone would they attack her? Of course they would, they're vultures. I wouldn't want her to be in the middle of a drama.

But I also wouldn't want her to feel like she's a secret, would she be ok with that?

What would happen when I'm done with this season? Would I be able to keep seeing her? Get together? Spend time together? Be with her forever? Would we last?

I'm gettin ahead of myself, I am probably not even her type, or she possibly doesn't date people like me. I mean she said it, why is someone like me trying to befriend her?

At some point I drifted to sleep because a beautiful face came into view, it was like a replay of today's afternoon, but it was different. She had paint on her cheeks, I brushed it and it smeared her face, she didn't say anything just let me clean it off, her face was soft, smooth, beautiful. I could tell she had some light freckles on her cheek and her nose. I got carried away and brushed her lips with my thumb. Her lips parted and both of our breath cut short, just staring at one another. I wanted to lean in, to let my lips taste hers. To close the gap.

Then our scene changed, lots of flashes, questions left and right, photographers, the media was crowding me in, I could feel Arlene's hand slipping from my fingers I wanted to hold on tighter.

"Is this your new lover?"

"Since when?"

"Who is she"

I watched as the cameras separated me from her and they were circling her and weren't letting me get to her, questions after questions, I wanted to scream at them to leave me "ALONE!"

I woke up screaming, panting, angry, frustrated. I shook it off and got out of the tub, I had drifted to sleep. Such a beautiful feeling ruined by paparazzi. I knew how my world was, I know how at every interview I'm asked if I have a man in sight, would I be dating soon? As much as I try to avert the questions they always try to come back around and ask for a boyfriend.

We are in new times, many celebrities have come out in the open, do I have the strength to face the public? My family? What would that do to my career? Will it change?

I took a deep breath, stressing about the future would do no good. I focused on Arlenes beautiful face instead.

The hours felt so short as I finally rested my body and had to be awake early morning again. It was around late afternoon when the crew let us take another break, I had such a bad mood, but I didn't let that stop me from shooting the first scene of my new role as an MCU character. I was also excited and thrilled, filming with every artist, extra and producer they all made it worth it. New beginning for a new character who knows maybe they'll create a second season.

"I think that is all for today! Thank you all!"

The cameras turned off, the film crew got to working and we all walked away let them do their own thing.

I walked down the steps from the stage and the first face I see that was looking at me made my heart jump. I walked up to her. "What are you doing here?"

"Would it be wrong for me to say 'I came to see you?'" she somewhat whisper leaning into me. Her perfume hit my soul, I smiled at her taking her in, her baggy sweatpants, lose painted shirt, white converse that also had paint on them, and a side Harry Potter backpack.

I really could feel my face flush pink and my smile widen.

"You free?"

"I am."

"Let's go."

She took my hand and led me to the back parking lot.

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