TransBoo

11.

vibey day

wooo new chapterrrrr

sorry if chapters become a bit less frequent

enjoy!

tw: intrusive thoughts, gender dysphoria, mental numbness, vague mention of afab chest, unsafe binding, dissociation, swearing ( please tell me if any are wrong or missing, stay safe <3 )

Although it was around the time Tubbo would usually start heading to bed, it was only 8:30pm in Ranboo's clock so he was wide awake. Even though Tubbo had drunk an entire monster, he still managed to pass out not long after they got home. He had given Ranboo a quick tour of the house then gone to bed, which Ranboo wasn't complaining about, he was going to let the boy sleep, but it let the voices that had been muffled by Tubbo's presence be heard.

He knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he knows he-

How?

He can see it. He can hear it.

But if he knows, why hasn't he said anything?

Because he's Tubbo. He won't say it to your face. But right now, he's thinking about how disgusting you are, how much he regrets meeting you.

He acted excited though.

He lied. He doesn't want you here. He doesn't want a freak in his house.

But- He's my best friend. He couldn't do that.

Oh but he could, you know he could.

Ranboo felt the first tear fall from his eyes. After that, they wouldn't stop. So he just sat there, letting the tears silently slide down his hot cheeks. Maybe they were right. Maybe Tubbo did know. Maybe he knew from the first time he laid eyes on him. Maybe he was wondering how to throw him to the curb. Maybe-

Ranboo nearly jumped out of his skin when Tubbo rolled over in his bed. He quickly wiped the tears from his face, staring up in fear at his sleeping friend. When he was fully sure that Tubbo was asleep, he got to his feet and walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind him and sliding down the wall until he was sitting in a huddle on the floor. He knew he should probably take off his binder while he knew Tubbo wouldn't see him but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't see his chest. Not now, not ever. Why did he have to be trans? Why him? What did he do to deserve this? What had he done wrong? He sat there for a long time, staring at the cabinet under the sink, numb, shivering.

Ranboo blinked. Sunlight was beginning to shine though the the small window. How long had he been sitting there? He knew he should stand but his legs felt like they were made of lead. He jumped when there was a soft knock at the door, quickly stumbling to his feet to open the door, revealing a disheveled looking Tubbo.

"What were you doing in there?" he asked, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Oh, nothing. I didn't realize what the time was." Ranboo forced a small smile onto his face, still feeling quite out of it.

"Are you okay, man? Your eyes look puffy."

"Yeah, I'm fine." Tubbo looked skeptical but ignored it, thankfully. "Oh shit, did you want to use the bathroom, I'll get-"

"No no, I just came looking for you. I woke up and you weren't in the sitting room so I went investigating." Ranboo nodded.

"I thought you would be sleeping for a lot longer, you only slept for, what, an hour or so?"

"Probably the monster, also I got a lot of sleep before you arrived because I knew we would be up a lot."

"Ah."