Silvanna Snape {Marauders}

Chapter One-Hundred-and-Thirty

It's update time ladsss! In case you're not sure because I'm so inconsistent/quirky, updates are now on Wednesdays (or Thursdays if I forget) and Sundays :)

 So Dumbledore had watched her at the Princes? Or had someone else watching her? Or maybe he'd simply used his legillimency. It didn't matter how. What did was that he had, and she had feedback that she intended to act on. Smile more next time. But at least he approved, and that meant there would be a next time.

 And so her nods turned to small smiles, which made her stomach twist whenever someone saw her, especially one of her friends. They - especially Lily and Sirius - had begun to glower in return. But nothing could stop Marlene and her sunshine smile. At least, she thought not.

 She still came to the tutoring sessions, but there was a lot less talking and a lot more studying. Even when Silvanna tried to start a conversation, it was shut down. She seemed exhausted. So it was reluctantly that she opened up a conversation about feelings.

 "How are you, then?" she asked at the start of a Potions study-session. "How've you been?"

 "Fine," Marlene huffed. "So, moonbeam dust, that does what?"

 "You don't seem fine," she pushed. "You seem pretty down actually."

 "It's nothing," she insisted. Fine, I'll leave it there. Marlene looked to her textbook, and Silvanna opened her mouth to start talking about moonbeam, but Marlene's head sprung back up, her dark hair bouncing into its place. "Actually. no it's not. How come I'm constantly having to defend you these days?"

 "To who?" she asked, feigning confusion. She didn't want to drag Marlene into her miserable isolation.

 "Everyone! And I don't just mean the Gryffindors. Annalese and Betsy were bitching about you the other day behind me in Charms."

 Silvanna did not know who they were, or what anything had to do with them, but she thought it best not to ask.

 "So don't," she said with a shrug. "Don't defend me. I've not asked you to."

 "But I'm not just going to sit there and-" She realised she was raising her voice and lowered it back to a whisper. "I won't sit there and not do anything. Especially when you're so normal during our tutor sessions."

 "Normal?" she raised her eyebrows. "What exactly is it I've done that's so abnormal?"

 "You don't speak to anyone except me!" she hissed. "You smile at Slytherins, you stayed with those nasty grandparents who tried to marry you off to Sirius, you called werewolves animals - which is not like you at all - and there's a rumour - which I hope to Merlin isn't true - that you had dinner with the Blacks." Silvanna felt a familiar twist in her gut. She paused for breath before continuing, calmer now. "And you only speak to me. When we're in here, hidden away from everyone else, it's like nothing's changed. But something has, and we don't know what, or why."

 She didn't deny it, deliberately so that Marlene could say so to the others. Maybe if she didn't deny that something changed, they'd figure it out for themselves, and stop being so angry.

 "I don't want to argue with you," she said instead.

 Marlene sat back in her chair. "No," she agreed. "No, I don't either, but I wish you'd say something. Anything."

 She issued a small smile. "Just have a little faith."

*****

 The Princes were not a family of love, that had become extremely clear to her. While her mum was alive, she used to write all the time, always eager to here stories from her children at Hogwarts. She got a little bit of post from them - new shoes and robes, the odd book on her powers, and newspaper cut-outs of the aristocratic drama - but the real post came once she sent the all important confirmation that she would be living with them indefinitely.

 Then there were flurries of letters, usually from Evelyn but occasionally some pureblood she'd never heard of, inviting her to balls, and dinners, and weddings. She got the idea that these were less invitations, and more dates for the calendar, that she wouldn't have a choice. But she didn't mind; that was the point of this, to figure out who went to these events and report back. And everything went through Evelyn first.

 There were also some more intriguing letters - those regarding tutoring over the summer for herself and Severus. They'd be interviewing candidates that week, and it looked promising. Dancing lessons were crucial now more than ever apparently, and Colette wanted to see how her magic was coming along, but she doubted much training would be needed before then. And a summer holiday to a family home in Italy, for two weeks. Now what would be so horrid about that?

*****

 The spring faded into summer startlingly fast, with apparation taking a turn for the better for almost everyone. Splinching was now a rarity, and Silvanna felt ready for the exam in the summer. But, gone was any mention of rain, the grey clouds turning fluffy and white. More than once Marlene suggested studying outside, but Silvanna always shut that down. They could not be seen together: it was vital.

 Gryffindor won the Quidditch cup, much to James and Marlene's combined delight. Everyone's delight really. She did stay at the party for a little while, sipping on a butterbeer, and Marlene came over more than once, completely rat-arsed. They hugged, but only words of congratulations were exchanged before Silvanna decided she'd be better off in her room, where she couldn't hopelessly gaze at her friends enjoying themselves without her.

 She was halfway up the stairs when her feet completely came out from underneath her, and she slid back to the bottom in a heap.

 A hand appeared, and she took it, clambering up, only to see Sirius. She looked around but no one was watching. Thank goodness. She hastily let go, turning to walk up the stairs again, but he stopped her. "I'll only make you slide down again," he muttered. She raised her eyebrows at him. Of course that'd been him. "Moony had some theories," he began, "about why you're such a prick all of a sudden, but since your spectacle in Defence...let's just say we're not so sure."

 "You think anyone would have listened to me if I hadn't phrased it like that?"

 "Doesn't matter." He shrugged. "Just know that Marlene is giving herself a hard time over you, and - well Moony's theories. If they're even close to true, be careful. You don't know what you're dealing with."

 Silvanna thought about pushing him, arguing, but anything she said might just expose her position a little too much. She shook her head and turned to leave. "I know what they're like," he pushed, stopping her once more. "And you are way out of your depth."

 "I don't know what you're talking about, Black, you sound crazy." That should do it, shut this down as quickly as it started. Black. Merlin, she was a monster, but it was for his own good that he didn't know what she was doing. "The Princes are my family. You just can't believe that I'm making a life for myself, and you're grasping at straws to excuse me. Well stop. I don't need you lot pulling me down. I don't need you at all, and I certainly don't want you." Lies, lies, lies. But what was she to do?

 He looked at her, his eyes searching and full of desperation and sadness. She steeled her glance, hoping he'd soon lose hope, that they'd all give up on her and make everything so much easier. "They weren't who I meant," was all he said, before he went back to join the party, and see where James had disappeared to.