Silvanna Snape {Marauders}

Chapter One-Hundred-and-Fifty-One

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NEWTs were upon them. Silvanna thought back to her first few years at Hogwarts, when she was shocked at the work and stress the Seventh Years put in. She remembered imagining revising with Remus in the library, ready to ace all their exams with the seven years of work they put in.

She didn't feel quite so confident now that she reviewed her situation. No Remus, who actually hated her, to the point where she felt sick to her stomach, and NEWTs were harder than her naive self had first anticipated.

But at least Marlene was there for stress relief.

At the end of the first week she'd sat so many exams it felt like it would never end. Charms was exhausting, and she fell into bed asleep as soon as she got back to her dorm, even though it went well. Alchemy she felt confident with, but was easily he most nervous about because of her Gringotts application. And Transfiguration on Friday morning...it was Transfiguration. It was never going to go superbly. But she couldn't help but miss it a little as she walked from the exam.

On Saturday she met up with Marlene behind the swan tapestry for a break between cramming. Marlene left first, and Silvanna waited for a while before following.

Regulus was stood there with his arms crossed. She froze.

"I literally do not care about McKinnon," was the first thing he said.

"How did you know where I'd be?"

He shrugged. "I followed you. But do whomever you'd like in your own time. You were in there long enough to have plenty of fun."

She began to sweat a little. "You don't care?"

"Zero fucks." He began to walk away, and she trotted to catch up, walking alongside him.

"That's the first time I've heard you swear," she commented.

"There's no one around," he shrugged, "I don't see the harm."

"How've you been?"

"Fine."

"What do you want?"

"I turn seventeen next month," he began. "And there's only three weeks until the end of term."

"So?"

"So our parents are waiting to marry us off."

She stopped, and so did he. "What?"

"You're surprised?"

"Yes."

He rolled his eyes. Sassy git. "Just be prepared, yes?" He stalked away. Silvanna was left in an empty corridor, her mouth hanging open.

What the fuck?

*****

  The weekend passed too quickly for anyone to comprehend, but Silvanna got a few precious moments studying outside with Marlene, just on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest where the sun could shine through the trees. They had two bottles of pumpkin juice with cooling charms on them, so they had a lovely time revising Defence.

Potions went fine, with fluff-ups on the written but not practical. She couldn't believe she forgot Golapott's second law, it was simple! Defence she could've done better with, but she'd put so much stress on learning it she couldn't fail: it was easily their most important subject. She'd never felt more relieved than when she left the Herbology exam, knowing that she'd never have to read about fungi again and that NEWTs were over for her.

After Arithmancy was over on Friday, there was a party in Ravenclaw tower for all the Seventh Years. She attended, mostly because she didn't want to miss out, but didn't enjoy it one bit. She had to hover around the Slytherins, for appearance's sake. It was an entertainging night: Peter got in a fight with Avery and James and Sirius stole two beds and levitated them around the tower, but she was disheartened once again at seeing her friends without her.

She didn't mind as much as before though. She and Marlene had celebrated the previous night.

*****

Silvanna was glad for her view from the carridge that she shared with a group of fourth-years. The sun shone brightly behind the Hogwarts castle. This was probably the last time she'd ever see it. There was the bitterness that her friends weren't with her - that her girlfriend wasn't with her. But the relief too. The sting had been almost too much the last two weeks. She would've given it all up, just to see them love her again, just for that breath of fresh air.

But she didn't. She sucked it up, held her breath, and was soon back at Whitechapel. Forever? It felt like it.

She unpacked. She listened to Evelyn. She went to the teas, and the dinners, and the balls. But nothing could ease the heavy strain in her chest, the way it pulled down into her gut. Evelyn noticed, and Colette asked her what was wrong, but she could only say, "Missing Hogwarts."

She smiled warmly. "We've all been there. You'll be fine."

Silvanna didn't think she would be fine.

She had a new suit made for her interview at Gringotts, where she was interviewed by a Goblin and a wizard whose names she forgot. "Not to worry," said Evelyn, "Your grandfather will send a letter to the head instead."

She wanted to be sick. She wanted to punch someone. She wanted to crawl into bed and never get up.

"You're not very talkative today," Regulus commented during their third waltz. "I hope it isn't because of our conversation?"

"No," she said softly. "No, I just miss them." Her voice sounded breathy and pale.

"Me too," he whispered, his cheek brushing hers as he pulled back, face stoic as ever, despite the emotion in his voice. They gripped each other tighter then, both scared to let go.

When Silvanna got her first letter from Marlene, she was overjoyed. The sickness washed away if briefly; they'd talked about their plans.

Silvanna arrived at the Leaky Cauldron at twelve-o-two in the afternoon and checked in, her features temporarily distorted by transfiguration. Marlene arrived at twelve-thirty-six, thirty-four painful minutes later. They removed their spells; they wanted to see each other in honesty.

It was the best sex Silvanna had ever had. It seemed Marlene had been missing her too.

They went for lunch after, transfiguration spells back on. It was odd - she looked at a stranger, but spoke to her closest friend.

"Voldemort tried to recruit some of them," Marlene said lowly, her bluntness stinging as she sipped her milkshake.

Silvanna put her teacup down with a clatter that drew temporary attention from the neighboring tables. "Who?"

"James, Lily, Sirius," she listed. "They said no of course."

"How did he do it?"

"Sent some Death Eaters to tell them when they were alone," she said, biting her lip. "They told us and Dumbledore right away."

"Dumbledore?"

"I can't talk openly about it," she admitted. "Next time."

Silvanna nodded, sipping her tea again. The sickness washed back like waves on a beach. She was protecting them by doing this. But maybe she wasn't doing enough...