𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗯𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁 ✘𝙀.𝙔𝙚𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙧 ✘

Shame Shame Shame

Its been three days since you and Eren fought. You could tell the boat had moved. You were no longer near civilization so there was no use in screaming. Every night he had come to tend to your wounds. Wrapping them carefully and compassionately. Apologizing every time you winced in pain and cussed at him. He took you to the bathroom twice a day. In the morning and at night. He let you bathe yourself and change into comfortable clothes. He would bring you food and he would leave you to sleep alone at night. Mainly because you let him know you'd rather die than eat a meal with him. He didn't yell, or really even talk to you, mainly because you asked him not to talk to you anymore. Even so he took care of you.

"Get the fuck off of me." You snap. Eren stops himself from holding you for any longer. You had been snapping at him like this more than you'd like to admit but you couldn't help it. Every time you thought about him nothing but intense rage filled your system. Everything that was wrong in your life he had caused. Any time he would put his hands on you your guard went up immediately. You stopped listening to him and accepted death. "I'd rather die." "Just kill me" "Fuck you" "Fuck off" "Fuck no." "I want to die". You sounded like a little gnat in Eren's ear. Always stressing how much you hated him. How badly you craved the sensation of death, rather than spending another waking second with him.

"When are you going to let me out of these chains." You ask. Eren doesn't respond. "You fucking ignoring me now? I should be the one ignoring you." You pester. "No." He says softly. He looks back at you. "I realized I was in the wrong. I shouldn't have hit you like that." He says. You shoot a questioned look. "I'm being serious. I regret hurting you." He says. You didn't expect a psychopath to have empathy. Tears began to well in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I-I." He says shakily. All the rage in your body fades and concern washes in.

"Eren I'm alright. Don't cry." You say. As the words sound in your ear your body stiffens.

Why the fuck were you consoling him. The man that had taken you from your home, your family, your life. The man that had chained you down in some boat. The man that had put his hands on you countless times. Why did you feel compelled to comfort him. He was a terrible person who is committing a heinous crime against you.
You were a law student for shit sake. You knew the extent in which he'd be prosecuted if you were ever found. But the overwhelming urge to reciprocate all of the care he had bestowed onto you was swallowing every ounce of sense in your body. At an alarming rate.

Eren was now looking up at you with those eyes. Usually hooded and lifeless. But whenever he looked at you, directly. They shot open, wide and full of excitement. The position you had put yourself in was awkward. You had started your statement of care, there was nothing else you could say.

"Eren I'm alright. Don't cry. I forgive you."

What exactly were you forgiving him for. Striking you, choking you, or the overall abduction. Eren didn't seem to care, he was too busy bathing in overwhelming euphoria. His sins have been forgiven by whom he sees as god. Although his way of conveying his love was twisted he still did love you quite a lot. There was no one else on this earth besides you in his eyes. The beautiful dream he had envisioned of you two living happily together, alone, shut out from the sick and grimy world. You living in utter ecstasy with not a single care. Thats all Eren wanted.

For you to see him the way he sees you.

~
Eren had put a clock in your room per your request. It was about 4 in the morning, and you were trying to free yourself. Such a fun task to complete while your kidnapper was sleeping. After your episode he added a few more locks. Your feet were now bound to each other and your hands were latched to the bed. It was impossible to sleep, usually the only times you could actually sleep now is when Eren brought you to the bathroom.

You'd sit on the cold floor as the warm water splashed onto you and sleep for as long as you could. After around 30 minutes Eren would worry and tell you to hurry up. Regardless you were sick of not being able to sleep at night and whenever you'd question Eren about the cuffs he would often ignore you or half ass his answer. You had managed to slip one hand out of the cuff. If you could get the other one out maybe you could sleep. But the knot on your other wrist was much tighter and your hands were fat. You kept tugging and tugging until you heard a pop that made your body cringe. You felt the entire nerve from the tip of your thumb all the way up the inside of your arm throb in pain. It felt like your arm was being coated in gasoline and lit on fire.

You bit down on your pillow and cussed through a clenched jaw. It was one of the most painful things you'd ever endured but you were free. Free at last thank god almighty. Both of your wrist were purple. Even past your brown skin a redish tint glazed your skin. A few slits where blood was able to slip through, but the most concerning was the numbing feeling overcoming your left thumb. It was darkening in hue and rapidly loosing feeling but truly who gives a shit. You were free. You could bend your arms and crack your knuckles. It wasn't a matter of getting out of your restraints. Its not like you could do anything. You were sure the boat was afloat in the middle of god knows where and you didn't have the energy to deal with Eren. All you wanted was free hands so you could sleep semi-comfortably.

And you now had just that.

~

The next morning you woke up to the smell of salt. When your eyes opened all you could see was water. Your body squirmed but you couldn't move. "I took care of you. I helped you. I loved you. And yet you still defy me. I've put up with your attitude for too fucking long. I only tolerated you for this long because I felt bad. But since you wanna die so bad. Die Y/n. Die." Eren says from behind you. You could feel his breath on your neck. "Eren I couldn't sleep. I wasn't defying you. I just wanted to sleep." You say franticly, trying to reason with him. Your death talk had only been a bluff, of course you didn't want to die. You feel his grip on your body loosen. "Eren stop it. Please don't drop me." You plead. Your heart began to drop. His arm goes slack and you begin to scream. You hold onto him as tightly as you can. "EREN PLEASE." You shout. Your eyes filling with tears. You could see nothing but your own two hands and the sea in front of you.

Your thumb was still dislocated and purple. Puffy and irritated, even more so than last night. You tried to kick away from him but your feet were still chained together. If he were to drop you into the water you wouldn't be able to swim even if you tried.
You feel the last bit of give in his arms let loose before his arms release you completely dropping your body into the open sea.

You scream out as loud as you can, clinging to the air before splashing down, your mouth filling with water. The open wounds all over your body stung. The pain you felt throughout your body was unbearable trying to keep yourself afloat with a broken thumb, cut up wrists and ankles, and a bruised face was excruciating. The burning sensation of salty water entering your abrasions was worse than hell itself. Although every waking inch of your body wanted to give up and sink to the bottom you continued to thrash around. Your feet trying to kick, digging the cuffs deeper into your ankles. The blood and movement would surely attract the attention of animals if you don't drown soon.

Yet you still called out for the only name that could save you.

"Eren" You screamed. "Eren" You cried. You couldn't tell your tears from the ocean water it had all formed a pitiful drenched expression on your face which Eren watched intensely. He just watched you die in distress. No real emotion could be seen on his face. Not necessarily happy or sad. Just numb, blank and emotionless. That plain look was the last thing you saw before your head sunk under the water.

As your conscious slipped away from you a bright light beamed on your head. You managed to open your eyes and look up through the distorted image of the water to see a figure standing over the boat. It was moving closer and closer to you until it broke through the water. You opened your eyes wide to see green eyes meet yours. Eren swam towards you with a bubble of breath in his cheeks and extended arms out to wrap around your waist, pulling your body up to the surface.

He pulled you back onto the boat and then himself. He pulled your cold trembling body into his own. You shook and wailed into him. Your sobs were incoherent but for some reason you couldn't tear yourself away from Eren. Was it the warmth? The need for a touch? You couldn't tell... but it felt good. It felt good to be held by him. So you stayed in his arms. Where it felt good. So disgustingly good. You didn't want to feel bad anymore. You never wanted to feel the way you felt moments ago when death was assured. You would do anything and everything it took to stay like this.

Good.