Alone Together [boyxboy]

Alone Together {10}

                The breeze from the night air felt good against my skin. I leaned out over the railing enclosing our front porch, watching the cars passing by on the street. I had to work in the morning, but I just couldn’t sleep.

                The front door creaked open and closed. I listened to the familiar squeaks of the porch, until Ike was standing next to me, leaning out over the railing as well.

                “Couldn’t sleep.” His tone implied that he was speaking for both of us.

                “Mmm.” I stared up at the moon. The clouds rolling by made it hard to tell what phase it was in.

                “What are you going to do about Jonas?” he asked, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket.

                “I don’t know. Smoking is expensive,” I said.

                “It was in a wallet I stole. I treat myself sometimes,” he said, flicking his lighter, shielding it with his hand until the cigarette caught. He blew out the smoke, watching it spread in the air around us.

                The scent filled my nostrils, calming me. I had spent a lot of time with my aunt when I was a kid, and she had been a big smoker. The smell reminded me of our times playing checkers in the living room and watching movies together. Her whole house had been coated in the scent.

                “He asks a lot of questions. Questions make a person think about the past,” he said, his eyes on the moon. “My brother hasn’t called me in a while. He always apologizes when he does. Says he gets busy with school and friends and sports.”

                “We’re busy too,” I said.

                “He never stops to think that I could call him too,” Ike said. He flicked his glance at me, and our slight nods to each other promised that this conversation never happened once we went back inside. “I never will, though. If he’s living life, good for him. He should focus on the thriving part of life. Not the brother who will be stuck working for minimum wage, and robbing people in shady areas.”

                I didn’t need to ask if Ike missed his brother. I knew he did. I knew Christian missed his parents. I knew that some part of me still missed my family. You just learned how to ease that longing, and train yourself to move past that desperate missing of them. I bet Micah missed his mom, though he rarely talked about her. He was five. I was twenty one. It didn’t change the pain of missing people you loved.

                “They never talked to you again,” Ike said. I nodded. He shook his head. “I’ve seen my dad at the bars a few times. When I was younger, I used to wait out by them. He saved me once, from some guys trying to mug me. He still cared about us. He just didn’t want to anymore. If he could lose his wife, he could lose anyone. Best not to care. I don’t know if it hurts less. I don’t think I want to know.”

                He tapped the cigarette, and we watched as the burnt up bit of it scattered into the wind. He took another drag, this time blowing it out of his nostrils.

                “Christian saved dinner for Ace,” he said. So, they had started their slow process of wordless apologizing.

                “Ace is out later than usual,” I said.

                “He likes to get into trouble. He likes the adrenaline rush of it. Sometimes I think he likes the fear of consequences,” Ike said, looking down at his cigarette.