Broken [Book 1 of 2]

Chapter Nine-

I held the sharp peice of metal in my hand, rocking it back and forth between my fingers. Awhile ago when I had flushed my blades, I forgot to grab one. A small one that I had once taken out of a pencil sharpener, probably dull by now. It was the first one I had ever owned, and I had kept in under my bed. 

"Ha," I said quietly to myself, accidentally pricking the tip of my thumb. Blood trickled down my hand, dark red and shiny. It wasn't triggering, it was calming. Even though it was an accident, I felt like I was breaking our promise.

Cam was out with the boys for a day, doing 'manly' stuff. Mahogany went, I think. I took out my phone and texted him.

Me:Hey.

He replied right away.

Cam:Hey!

Me:I have something to show you.

Cam:What?

I turned on the camera and snapped a picture of my bloody thumb holding the stained blade. I sent it to him.

Me:Look what I found

Cam:I hOpE tHaT iSn'T bLoOd On YoUr ThUmB

Me: It is. It was an accident tho

Cam: Good. Well not good, but you know what I mean.

Me: Ik

Cam:What are you going to do with it?

I shrugged, knowing he couldn't see me anyways. I looked down at the thin white line on my wrist, fading scars all around it. I made my first cut with this blade. Should I make my last one with it too?

No- I had already made my last one.

Me: I'm going to put it away...forever

Cam: I'm proud of you. Ily

I didn't reply. Instead, I put it down and got three things: a sticky note, an envelope, and tape. I layed the blade down on the sticky note and taped it on. Next, I folded it once and stuck it in the envelope. I closed the envelope and taped it shut. With a red pen, I wrote down on the backside, 'Do not open. Bad memories held inside.' 

Shoving it inside a box, I threw it under my bed where I had found it. Then I washed and bandaged my still bleeding thumb. I'll never take it out again. And that's a promise.

•••

"How was your 'manly' day?" I asked as Cam cam through the door, followed by the others.

"It was great," Cam laughed.

"What did you even do?" I questioned with a smirk.

"Stuff," he said as he refused to tell me.

"Fine," I said back, playfully pushing him.

Cam grabbed my arm in the process of pushing him, and he tried pushing me back. Soon it became a wrestling session. He was a lot stronger than me, considering I'm just barely regaining my strength (the whole not-eating thing really weakened me).

"Cam!" Muffled shouts escaped my mouth, in between laughter.

"Never!" He continued to bring me down to the ground.

We laughed, and he pinned me down, holding me captive. Cam was on top of me, and a moment was made.

He stared into my eyes, and I stared back, seeing new things I've never seen before. His eyes where more than brown, they were tiny yellowish stripes inside a pool of dark copper. His eyes glowed, telling a story that even a thousand words could not explain. Mine, well, mine are an ugly gray. He seemed to be interested, though.

"I never noticed how beautiful your eyes looked," He said, not taking his gaze away.

"They're gray, and boring," I replied.

"They are a blue-gray, like icicles," he complimented. I smiled.

"Your eyes are so much better," I argued. He didn't reply in anything else but a smirk. He lowered his head, kissing me gently.

It was still that magical feeling I got when I first kissed him. I kissed back, passionately. I love him.