Broken [Book 1 of 2]

Chapter Three-

        Cameron and I were having dinner at my house. My parents were out at a dinner date, so the house was mine. At least until 10:30 tonight. 

        I poked around at my food. This salad, it looked so fatty. I examined it as Cam sat next to me, eating away. Anxiety crashed into me as I saw everyone around me eating. I can't do this.

        "Is everything okay?" Cam asked hearty.

        "Yeah, I'm fine," I responded.

        "Come on Jayde, eat," Cam said, pushing the plate closer.

        "I'm not hungry, " I said to Cam, and when he didn't stop pushing it closer I whacked the plate off the table and yelled, "I SAID I AM NOT HUNGRY!" I stormed off, tears welling up in my eyes.

        Cam followed me in sort of a jog, and he  grabbed my wrist, stopping me. No matter what he did, I couldn't let him see me like this. I tried pulling free, without showing my face, but nothing worked. He then twirled me around and kissed me. For a moment, the whole world stopped. Everything around me turned into a blur.

        "Cam," I said, pulling away just enough to talk, "What are you doing?"

        "I'm sorry I tried forcing you, I should know better," He murmured. I could feel his breath against mine. It was a... Comforting feeling.

        "I'm sorry too," I faintly smiled, "I shouldn't have burst out like that."

        Cam pulled me closer again and he kissed me even more. I've never felt so close to anyone in my life. His kisses, they were warm and soft. They were passionate. Loving. I never wanted to stop.

        He pulled away. "Please eat?" Cam pleaded, taking my hand. I smiled and nodded. Anything for the guy who gave me my first kiss.

        We sat back down, ignoring the salad mess on the floor. He gave me a piece of his carrot. It shouldn't be too fattening, I thought to myself, maybe just a small piece will make him happy. Grabbing the carrot, I took the smallest nibble out of it. I faked a "mmm" and ate the rest of the piece.

        My stomach hurt. I hated eating. Maybe I need to puke this up. "I need to go to the restroom," I mumbled, getting up from my chair. I ran upstairs, holding my mouth. Opening the bathroom door, I found my razors sitting on the sink.

        "No," I whispered, "Not today." I took the razors and shoved them into a drawer. I opened the toilet seat, nervous. Closing my eyes, I heard tears splash into the water. My stomach hurt so much. This feeling was not satisfying. 

        Crying, I gagged myself and then it came up. The very little amount of carrot I ate looked like I ate a whole pie.

        "Gross," I sobbed quietly, "Good thing I got this out of my body." I stood up when I heard a knocking on the door.

        "Are you okay?" The voice on the other side of the door asked as I flushed the toilet.

        "Yeah, sorry. I needed to brush my teeth," I half-lied. I turned the water on and started brushing my teeth to hide evidence of my bulimia. When I was done, I opened the door to Cam.

        "Hi," I said, trying to avoid eye-contact. I felt ashamed. I broke my promise.

        "Hi," he replied, taking my hand again, "Now come with me." I followed him into my room. My heart pounded. If it is what I think it is, I might cry. I'm not ready. It's too soon.

        "Don't worry," Cam said, sitting on my bed, "I'm not trying to do it with you. Trust me." He leaned in and pecked my cheek.

        "Then what are you doing?" I asked as I felt my heartbeat slow down.