Your Other half- Levi ackerman (discontinued)

Bargaining

You sat in your room in the dark, staring at the wall. Your body felt numb. Nothing brought you joy anymore, and if it did, it only lasted for a moment.

The second Levi dropped you off at home, that empty feeling returned in your stomach. You couldn't shake the guilt, the sadness, the anger.

You begged the universe everyday. You begged it to kill you, and you sobbed wondering why Mikasa had to die instead of you.

Obviously, the universe didn't listen, so you were stuck living in this hell hole.

"Y/n," Sasha called, walking into your room. She sat next to you on your bed.

You latched onto her, laying your head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry for being so pissy lately," you apologized.

"It's okay," Sasha smiled. "Anger is a stage of grief, I understand."

"How's Eren doing? And Ymir, and Armin?" You asked.

"Ymir and Armin are doing fine," she sighed. "Eren hasn't been doing well."

You looked down at the ground. "He probably hates me now. I get it. I could've saved her.."

Sasha grabbed your shoulder, making you stop mid sentence. "No, you couldn't have. Addicts can't be stopped."

You didn't respond. You lived with heavy tons of guilt on your shoulders, and you couldn't let go.

"Connie and Jean are doing alright too." Sasha quickly changed the subject.

"Mikasa's parents? They hate me too. So does her whole family. So does Levi." You buried your face in your hands.

You wanted so badly to cry, you wanted to let it out. But your body felt so numb.

Sasha grabbed your hair, shaking your head back and forth. "Levi doesn't hate you! No one does, y/n!"

"He's probably using me for sex, just like Reiner." You compared.

Sasha slapped the back of your head, not hard, but enough to make you look her in the eyes.

"Don't say that. Don't. If Levi really was using you, do you think he'd bring you out on dates?"

You shook your head.

"Would Reiner comfort you while you sobbed?"

You shook your head again.

"Exactly. Levi loves you, Y/n." Sasha hugged you, holding the back of your head with one hand while rubbing your back with the other.

"I can't imagine how scary it must've been for you to see Mikasa in that state," She sighed. "I know, it hurts. I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

You took a deep breath, pulling away from her embrace. "It isn't your fault, Sasha. It's my own. I'm not ready to let go yet, and that's my decision."

"Okay," Sasha nodded. "Well when you are, I'll be here to guide you."

With that, she left, shutting the door tightly behind her.

You picked up your phone and sent a quick text to Eren. You asked him how he was doing, and you apologized for not reaching out sooner.

"I'm doing better, how about you, Y/n?" Eren responded.

"I'm doing alright."

"I'm glad to hear."

The conversation was over as quick as it started, and you were left staring at your wall once more.

You would try and go to sleep, but every time you tried, those images raced through your head.

It was agonizing that every time you closed your eyes you would see Mikasa on the floor, covered in her own puke and blood.

You fell back onto your bed, putting your hands together as if you were praying.

"Please, universe, I'm begging you. Take my life while I'm sleeping, make it so I don't wake up in the morning."