Chapter 17: Those Thoughts

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Months ago: a few days after the party

Me:
BRO

Husband:
I'm not your bro

Me:
Okay bUt BRO!!

Husband:
I'm blocking you if you say that again

Me:
R00d :(

Husband:
Yeah okay
Tell me why you called me bro

Me:
YEAH OMG BR-
A
YEAH BRA LISTEN TO ME

Husband:
Bye

Me:
Nuuu hold up :(((
Bro is my instinct to call someone when I have some great news to share
So LISTEN

Husband:
Sparing one time, alright
What is itttt

Me:
IM LEAVING THAT JACKASS JYP :DDD

Husband:
When were you two together?

Me:
HA HA HA WOW GREAT JOKE I PASSED OUT LAUGHING COMEDY IS DEAD WITHOUT YOU

Husband:
Now why are you learning from me???
What's wrong w you???

Me:
I'm the Jonas virus from All Of Us Are Dead
I learn and evolve

Husband:
You literally just called yourself a zombie virus

Me:
...okay let's not think about that
Force of habit

Husband:
Why are you like this

Me:
LET'S TALK ABOUT MY GREAT NEWS!!!
IM OVER WITH JYP FR NOW
I CALL IT QUITS
CAN'T PUT UP W HIM ANYMORE

Husband:
YEAH but why?

Me:
He put me out of my debut group bec I weighed 3 kgs extra
Like???
What's wrong w you broskii???
Get checked???

Husband:
I think he's scared of me
You could've just asked me to scare him off

Changed the contact name to 'Thug life'!

Thug life:
Did you change my contact or smth?

Me:
GASP-
HOW DO YOU KNOW

Thug life:
You went offline for three exact minutes
What else could you be doing?

Me:
Awww you're counting the minutes now

Thug life:
Go away

Me:
Hehehe
You're so soft for me 

Thug life:
Yeah yeah whatever

Me:
If I had known that Wattpad tsunderes existed irl, I'd have read them a bit more to see how to annoy you

Thug life:
What did you change my name to?

Me:
Oooh straight to the point, I see
You don't need to know

Thug life:
Istg Yiren
If it's smth tacky, I'm coming over with a pistol

Me:
Ayo...
Come over

Thug life:
.......
This isn't what I was expecting

Me:
Let's meet uppppp

Thug life:
Look who can't live without me

Me:
Yeah yeah whatever

Thug life:
Stop copying me

Me:
I'm not copying you

Thug life:
Yea you are

Me:
No

Thug life:
Yeah

Me:
No

Thug life:
I'll see for myself when I come over

Me:
Oooh sexc

Thug life:
About time you realized

Me:
...
Gonna forward you my address

Thug life:
YAH WTF
DON'T HAVE THOSE THOUGHTS

Me:
Eh
Just come over

(a/n: ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ

I have exams, and look what I'm doing instead of studying Doctor Faustus

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