Jester (Man x Man) ✔

40) i d o l s

The next morning, when Eli stirred awake from his dreams, he actually felt well-rested. Unlike nearly every other night, he couldn't remember having a nightmare. Maybe it was because of the night he had spent with Benjamin, or maybe it had something to do with reuniting with Prisca.

Whatever it was, Eli didn't complain or try to find reasons behind it. He just tilted his head down and held Benjamin a little tighter. Benjamin stirred, but didn't wake up. They were both still naked, having just a thin blanket on top of them, but Eli wasn't feeling cold. Not when Benjamin was so close to him and his body radiating warmth like it always did. His hands were never cold and Eli often used him as his personal heater.

Eli ran his fingers through Benjamin's hair, enjoying the silky feeling they had. He touched the small faded scar on his cheek, wondering if there was a story behind it. He moved his fingertips along Benjamin's jaw and down to his bare chest. He stopped there, resting his palm on top of his heart.

A small smile tugged up the corners of Eli's mouth and he closed his eyes. For years, ever since he had left the town, he had avoided thinking about religion or the things he believed in. Leaving it all behind - his family, friends and religion - had left him scarred in a way that made him question all that used to be.

Their religion didn't accept homosexuality, but what would have been a better heaven than a place where you are free love the one you couldn't live without? Or a place where skin color or gender didn't matter? A place where it didn't matter what god you believed in? A place where being different was considered as something that was meant to prosper? A place where happiness had more value than money? That would have been the kind of heaven Eli could still have believed in.

"A penny for your thoughts." Benjamin murmured, bringing Eli back to Earth.

"How did you know I was awake?" Eli asked instead, and Benjamin brought his hand on top of the hand that was still resting on his chest. All he gave as an answer was a warm smile on his lips.

Then someone knocked on the door.

"Goddammit." Eli mumbled, getting up and starting to fumble for their clothes. They dressed up hastily and Benjamin made sure there was no used condoms or other evidence laying around.

"Go wash up, I'll let them in." Benjamin was ready first, and Eli gave him one last panicked glance before disappearing into the bathroom. He could hear them talking, but not make out the words.

Eli washed his teeth and freshened up as much as he could in such a short notice. And there he was, supposed to be meeting his sisters' kids after so many years and giving them a good impression. He took a deep breath, trying to summon the carefree Eli from his past. The one who didn't have to think twice before getting something done.

Once he had a feeling he could at least fake being that version of himself, he opened the bathroom door and joined the others. Prisca was already sitting in the same easy chair, a tiny brown haired girl sitting on her lap. Benjamin was on the edge of the bed and on the seat by the dressing table, his back facing Eli, sat the boy Eli had heard so much of yesterday.

"Hi." Eli greeted them. The girl, Myra, took a quick glimpse of him, but then lowered her gaze shyly. She leaned closer to her mom, like that could keep her hidden from the tattooed stranger. The boy, Felix, had a different approach.

"Uncle Eli!" He exclaimed, jumping up from the chair and nearly stumbling on his way to hug Eli. When he wrapped his arms around Eli, like they were long-lost friends, Eli hugged him back, an amused grin on his lips.

"I'm Felix." The boy introduced himself, looking up at Eli with an open expression in his big hazel eyes. It was almost scary how much Eli saw himself in the little boy: the eyes that had seen too much, the dimpled grin and just about everything.

"He looks just like you." Prisca smirked, almost like she had read Eli's mind.

"Mum said I can cut my hair once we leave." Felix reached out to touch Eli's hair. "I want it just like yours."

The admiration in his eyes made Eli chuckle. It was like the boy was seeing his idol for the first time, even though they had known each other half of Felix's life.

"I should also cut mine, actually."

"I want these too." Felix continued, eyeing Eli's tattooed arms with admiration.

"I don't think your mom would like that very much." Eli laughed. Then he peeked in a tote bag Prisca had placed on the bed. In it were homemade blueberry muffins, fresh strawberries, a rustic looking loaf, grapes, chocolate, jam and peanut butter. To make it even better, on the bedside table waited two take away coffees for him and Benjamin.

"You still like everything sweet?" Prisca asked, smiling at Eli while she braided Myra's hair. The girl was now looking at Eli curiously.

"Oh yeah. He puts two spoons of sugar in his coffee and I have to use force to get him to eat something else other than chocolate and soda." Benjamin grinned, handing one of the coffees to Eli.

Something about all that - his sister bringing them breakfast, her son looking at him with admiration and Benjamin bantering about Eli's habits with them - brought a lump in Eli's throat. He blinked, sitting down on the edge of the bed and taking a sip from his coffee. It was sweet and rich, not bitter at all.

"You need to taste my baking." Prisca waited until Eli took one of the muffins and dug in.

"Is it any good?" Prisca inquired and Eli nodded vigorously. "Good enough for selling?" Eli nodded again. "You don't happen to be looking for a job?"

"Yes?"

"Can you bake?" Prisca continued.

"A little." Eli gave her a puzzled look.

"Then you're hired. Congrats, baby brother."

"What, for real?" Eli gaped at her. It sounded almost too good to be true. Benjamin had a broad grin on his lips when he leaned in to take a bite from the muffin Eli was holding, and all Eli could think was: god I'm so in love with him.

And that maybe, just maybe, it was all going to be okay in the end.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Only a couple of chapters left! There's always something so bittersweet (for lack of a better word) in finishing a story. I've been feeling low lately and I hope that doesn't show too much in my writing.. But it is what it is, I guess. Hope you're doing well! 🖤