Jester (Man x Man) ✔

41) f a m i l i e s

The days had gotten warmer and it felt like the city around him had sprung to life. The streets were buzzing with new energy and the glass facades of the stores reflected the sunlight so brightly it could blind you.

Eli's short sleeved shirt was drenched with sweat, when he rushed through the city. He could catch a glimpse of his reflection from the windows of the stores. His tattooed arms still looked scrawnier than he had hoped for, but there was no doubt Prisca would fix the problem by making him eat her bakings until he would become nauseated just by the sight of them. 

He had cut his hair and there was a hint of something new in his eyes, making him glow, like someone who has just fallen in love. And he was very much in love, obviously with Benjamin, but he was also learning how to love with his life as it was. No, love was a little too strong of a word, when talking about breathing; he was learning to appreciate it. And for now that had to be enough.

Eli was on his way from counseling to the café that would open in just a week or so. He had never been as excited about work as he was now, knowing that his boss wouldn't be calling him names and taking every spilled soda off his already nonexistent salary. 

Prisca had insisted on naming the café Perfect day after Lou Reed's song, which was her new favorite. She had only just found the magical world of pop music, and now she refused to go anywhere without her earbuds. She was fun to be around with, just like she had been when they were younger. 

The café had a windowed facade, filling the interior with natural light. When Eli walked in, he was welcomed by a scent of freshly grounded coffee and something chocolatey baking in the oven. His stomach growled, reminding him that he had been too busy to eat the meal Benjamin had left for him in the fridge. 

"How was your counselling?" Prisca appeared behind the counter. She was wearing a black apron and there was flour on her cheek. 

"It was okay, I guess." Eli shrugged. He had started complaining the same second his butt touched the seat, and Ellwood had scribbled notes while listening to each word with care.

Eli had felt so frustrated with himself, when after so many nights he had had a nightmare. He had woken up covered in sweat and he had fallen back asleep while Benjamin kept telling him over and over again that he was safe. Although Eli knew it was unrealistic to think he would be all fine and healed in such a short time, every time he had a setback, it frustrated the life off him.

When Eli had finished his rant, Ellwood had composedly explained to him: "Healing is a slow process. You'll have more nightmares, probably a lot more still. You'll take one step forward only to take back two. You'll stumble and fall, many many times. But you're getting there, you're making progress."

Then Eli had admitted that he was terrified he would somehow fuck up the good things in his life — having his sister back, getting to work with her and, most of all, his love for Benjamin — if he was still stuck with the nightmares and depression. His future was starting to seem so promising it felt almost too good to be true. The thought of losing it all was more than Eli could bear.

"What if I'm doing it wrong? This whole healing thing.. what if I fuck it all up?"

"There's no wrong way to heal, it is your journey and you'll just have to find the ways that work best for you. You're your own responsibility, but take all the help others will give you." Ellwood had given Eli a reassuring smile and that along with his words had lifted a heavy weight off Eli's chest. 

"What are we doing today?" Eli tied an apron around his waist and turned to look at Prisca. He knew he needed to talk to her about Logan and Billy at some point, but that could wait a little longer. Right then just having her around and getting the café ready to be opened was more than enough for Eli. 

"Didn't you say you had some recipe for the chocolate chip cookies?"

"Oh, yes, I did." A wide grin spread on Eli's lips. The menu of Perfect day consisted of all their favorites: Eli's Caffè Mocha, high-quality black coffee for Benjamin, Prisca's blueberry muffins, Zack's pancakes,.. there was something for everyone who played a part in their lives, so of course there needed to be the famous chocolate chip cookies of Benjamin's grandma, Diane.

Soon enough they were chopping chocolate and mixing the dough, while listening to more Prisca's new favorite songs. Not that any of those songs were new as in from this decade, but they weren't classics without a reason. Before Eli noticed it, he had started telling Prisca about the time he and Diane had baked the cookies together. 

"She said to me that sometimes we lose people we love too early, but that the real magic is on those who stay." A wistful smile spread on Eli's lips when he remembered those words.

"A wise woman." Prisca agreed, nodding vigorously. She was smiling too, but her eyes were pensive, when she asked: "Do you miss them? Mom and dad?"

"Every day." Eli answered truthfully. 

"Me too." Prisca was quiet for a moment. "And Aaron and Matthias and Anna and Benjamin — our Benjamin — and Lydia and Elizabeth.. and Marcus."

"I know. But if it's any consolation, I'm glad you're here."

"It is. You're magic, after all." Prisca grinned, blinking away the sadness from her eyes.

••••

Once the opening day finally came, Eli could barely stay still. His stomach was filled with butterflies, the nervous kind that made him nauseated. He had been running in circles and biting his fingers, until Prisca finally told him to go out and have a cigarette. Eli would have given anything to have Benjamin there, but he was running late, so Eli had to settle for the second best.

"I bet people are going to flood in after that picture." Miles swore, one arm linked with Ash's and one holding a can of Monster.

Eli had posted a picture of himself behind the counter, holding an espresso pan with a beaming smile on his lips. It was only his second post in months, because he had learned not to hold so much meaning for social media. He rather lived in the real one, taking every moment as it was: unfiltered and real. Which was also how his last two posts looked like. 

The first post he made after a long silence was about depression and how his life really was behind all the smiley pictures on his feed. At first Eli had been sure that would cause him to lose followers, but it had ended being the opposite. Surely there were people who had commented idiotic and inconsiderate things, but mostly he had been showered with kindness and praises of being brave enough to talk about his mental health. 

"We'll see." Eli smirked happily, taking a drag from his cigarette. 

"Oh, we will." Steven joined the conversation, placing his hand on Eli's shoulder. It was followed by Ash's "Yes, we will.", Dam-Bi's "Definitely.", Brandon's "Oh yeah." and Shirley's face-splitting smile followed by an exaggerated nod.

"I love you idiots, you do know that, right?" Eli laughed, which soon turned to a complete cracking up when everyone rushed to give him a big group hug.

Eli didn't owe anything to his parents, not just because they brought him to this world. He didn't owe anything to his siblings, not just because they took care of him when he was younger. He didn't owe anything to Logan either, not anymore. The only person he truly owed anything was himself. 

And the people who were still part of his life weren't there because he would have owed them anything. They were there, because they loved him and because that's what you do for the ones you love. Through thick and thin.

Hearing his friends' laughter and feeling their arms around him Eli realized something: he had had a family right there with him all along.

His friends loved him and they were ready to do anything for him, just like Eli was ready to do anything for them in return. He had Benjamin and he had Prisca, Felix and Myra. He even had grandparents, when Benjamin's family had taken him in with open arms. Those who stayed truly were magic. They were a family, his family.